The Last One Standing
by SilverWolf7
Summary: The Doctor, while travelling alone between adventures with Amy and Rory, finds a boy from a species he didn't think really even existed any longer. The last of his kind. A boy by the name of Karkat.
1. Chapter 1

This is stupid. I have no idea why I started writing this story, only that it involves two of my greatest loves. Doctor Who and Homestuck. Any and all mistakes are mine and only mine. I own none of the characters. I hope that some people out there enjoy the madness. Even if it is badly written madness.

Ah well, on with the story.

* * *

The Last One Standing

The TARDIS landed with a thump and, with a flare of energy that was wasted as no one was there to see it, the Doctor threw wide the doors and stared.

He was in a room. Well, of course he was in a room. He was either in a room or outside and this was definitely indoors. What was surprising was how oddly empty the whole place felt. He hadn't been to a place that seemed this devoid of life since...well, since he had been left on his own by Amy and Rory.

He was still getting used to the inside of the TARDIS being empty except for him. It was very lonely, but he understood he'd find himself a companion sooner or later. He always did. But right now he was just drifting wherever the TARDIS felt he had to go on his own. Usually that involved helping individuals.

None seemed right to him so far, but hey, that will change soon enough.

He just had to find the right individual.

Stepping out of the TARDIS he looked around. Metal walls, metal floors, computers against the walls and a transporter in the middle of the room to lead somewhere else.

"Alright sexy, let's see where this leads hey?" he said, shutting the door behind him and taking off towards the transporter.

It took him to a smaller room with two empty chests and two more transporters. Scratching his head, he turned to one of them, and went to wherever it would take him. It took him to a room filled with transporters. Only one was active, above it floated a holographic image of the Earth astrological sign of Cancer.

"Well, looks like there's only one way to go then," he said out loud to himself in an urge to hear something other than the silence that seemed to be everywhere in whatever the heck this place was.

The first thing he thought when he used the machine to get to the next place was a relaxing 'oh thank God, I'm not alone any longer' the next thought was 'I hear someone crying'. Following the noise, he soon found the person the noise was coming from.

Leaning down he looked at the sight in front of him and frowned. "Hello? I'm the Doctor, is there anything I can do to help?"

The boy looked up and the Doctor raised an eyebrow at him. He had only managed to see a mess of black hair and what had looked like short nubby bony protrusions from the head before. Then he saw the grey skin and the teeth of a species he thought to be myth.

Well, the purple everywhere now made sense. It was blood. And judging from the red tears this kid was crying it was not his.

He doesn't answer with words, just shakes his head and holds the other one closer. The source of the purple blood is coming from the one he holds. Taller and with towering horns coming out of his head, this is more what he imagined an Alternian Troll to look like. That one was clearly very much dead now.

They sat there on the floor until tears stopped and exhaustion took over. And still the smaller living one didn't let go of his friend or fall asleep. Instead he glared at him. "You can't be human. What the fuck are you doing here?!" he asked. The voice was harsh and scratchy and hoarse. He must have been screaming bloody murder earlier.

"No, I'm not human. And I just arrived here on my ship. What happened here?"

He looked down at his dead friend and back up at him. "He went fucking nuts. Began killing everyone. I...I had no choice. I didn't know what else to do..."

Oh.

Oh...

"You were close I take it?"

The boy nodded. "He was my fucking moirail. I thought I could keep him in line, but I guessed wrong didn't I? Fuck! I'm a pathetic loser alright? And past me was even worse than present me."

Okay, this kid was in definite need of more help he could give if he actively thought anything he did in the past was done by someone else that just happened to look and act like him. "Er..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, past me is me. It just...became a thing. An interesting memo system meant that I ended up yelling at myself from the past or future a lot. It became a thing. I know they're all me. Don't even bother fucking saying it..."

"You're repeating yourself."

"Oh, I'm so sorry if it insults your all high and mighty powers of fucking thinking. I'm holding the body of my dead moirail. I could really _use_ my moirail right now, considering his _body_ is in my hands. Talk about a hell of a double reach around...fuck..."

The Doctor knew that if he wasn't exhausted beyond tears he would have just started crying again. Well, this was a brilliant situation the TARDIS had landed him in this time. "Is there anyone else here still alive?"

The boy shook his head sadly, before gripping his dead moirail even closer and began to slowly rock. Right, shock, he should really get a blanket or something to put over the poor fellow. "I'll be right back. I'm going to get you something to help with the shock."

Making his way back to the TARDIS, the Doctor stopped to investigate the other transporters. He concluded each one seemed to lead to another room, each one coinciding with an astrological sign. All twelve were there. The purple one the same as the blood you had just been subjected to happened to come from Capricorn. Hmm. It didn't mean much now, but it may in the future. He stored that information away in his brain, before retracing his steps back to the TARDIS and found a blanket by the door waiting for him.

"Oh, good girl. Guess it is our duty to help him. I can't leave him here on his own like this. I may have to bring the dead one too though."

He made his way slowly back to the kid, wanting to give him a bit of time alone to at least try and compose himself a bit better. When he got back, the boy was sitting up against the wall and no longer holding the dead one. He was hugging his knees close and shivering.

"Here. I got you a blanket. You should keep warm and keep talking. It will help with the shock."

Young as he was, the look of determination to do the exact opposite of what was said was standing out quite plainly in his eyes. The Doctor sighed, walked over to him and sat down by his side, carefully missing the blood pooled on the floor. He carefully draped the heated blanket over shaking shoulders and watched as small, yellow clawed hands reached out to pull it closer.

"Fine. Thanks..."

So, he could have manners if he chose to use them. Not that he could really blame him for being angry at the world. Alternia he had managed to learn from his studies in the Academy had been one hell of a harsh world.

But Alternia was never there. He had no idea what had happened for that to be true. It was a mystery to all. The information gathered on the planet came from second hand knowledge from humans in an alternate timeline. If he tended to over think things he may start thinking of his own dead planet. He understood exactly how that felt.

"Come on, I'll take you somewhere safe. Umm, where exactly are we anyway, I kind of have no idea, the systems in my ship are going all wonky on me."

"How the fuck can you not know where we are? You're in the Void between universes you idiot. Time and Space are all fucked up here. Nothing but endless darkness and Horrorterrors."

Raising an eyebrow at the swearing, but deciding to let the language go if it helps calm him down, the Doctor thought on that. "Hmm, between universes. That's interesting. Alright, well, we'll find our way to a universe then, any will do me just fine."

The kid just stared at him. He blinked in return. "We can bring your dead moirail if you want. You can put him in stasis and bury him somewhere on a planet."

The boy looked at his dead friend, sighed and shook his head. "No. Leave him here with the others. It seems more fitting, somehow."

"Alright. Come on then, off we go. You can keep the blanket until we get inside. She can change the temperature to suit your needs."

They got up and made their way back to the first of the transporters. The boy was dragging his feet, almost reluctant to leave and he didn't know if it was because he was leaving his dead friends behind, or from the shock. At least the shivering was less pronounced. The poor kid will be able to sleep as soon as the worst of it had stopped. He looked like he could use some uninterrupted sleep.

"My ship!" he stated, waving his hand at the TARDIS. "She may not look like much on the outside, but she is dimensionally transcendental, bigger on the inside. She will give you a room you'll be comfortable in and help with translating alien languages. She's also very telepathic. She won't use it to spy on you in private or anything, she tends to leave you alone for the most part, mainly just setting up connections for translations and things like that. But, she will take what you like and make a suitable bedroom for you."

The boy just stared at him blankly. "Do you ever shut up?"

"Sorry, I tend to ramble sometimes. Tell me to shut up if I start, I won't take it personally, even if you mean it as such. I'm quite fond of my ship. Is there anything you're overly fond of? She can make it happen."

The boy blushed slightly and shifted from foot to foot. "Umm, I like movies. I can go on for ages on the quadrants and romance. It's...kind of my thing I suppose, if you can call it a thing. The others made fun of me for my love of romcoms."

"Well, there is a rec room available too, with any and all romcoms that you could want, though, mind you, none from your planet. I think we're from different universes. That would actually explain quite a bit now that I think of it."

The boy rubbed at his head and sighed. "I just want to sleep right now. I'm really tired."

Nodding, the Doctor quickly and hoping he didn't startle the lad, threw a hand over his shoulders and steered him inside. "Yes, you look like you're about to fall down from exhaustion. We'll find you a room and you can sleep. Oh, introductions! I already told you I'm the Doctor. Who are you?"

The boy froze for a moment. "You're not related in any way to Doc Scratch are you?"

Confused and showing it on his face, he shook his head. "I am not even sure who Doc Scratch is, unless you're talking about a pool term, but I can assure you that it probably has something to do with your universe and not mine."

The boy nodded with a scowl on his face, before nudging himself further into his blanket. "Karkat."

"Well, Karkat, welcome to the TARDIS. She'll take care of your bedding needs. Food will be in the kitchen. If there is no milk, we'll have to stop somewhere to get more. I drink tea. Do you drink tea?"

Karkat blinked up at him and shrugged. Grey and yellow eyes were looking droopy, so the Doctor grinned at him and once again steered the boy about. "Rooms are down this corridor here. The TARDIS can and will move rooms around, but just ask and she should point you in the right direction. If she's being nice she won't let us hunt for the room she has made you."

"You speak like the fucking ship is alive or something..."

"She is."

"Oh...okay...I think."

"Bathrooms are private, don't worry about that. Have I already said that? I may have already said that."

Shaking his head, Karkat buried himself even further into the blanket and, taking the hint, the Doctor led him down the corridor. The first door they came across had the boy's name etched on it, with the symbols of the four card suits.

The Doctor watched as Karkat reached a hand up to touch the words, and symbols. "No one can come in but me?"

"There should be a lock if you like your privacy that much."

Nodding, Karkat opened the door and entered the room. It was dark, but that was to be expected, from the little he knew of the species, the Alternian Troll was nocturnal by nature. Something to do with the brightness of their sun. He watched as the kid took in the room and looked around it himself. There was a bed that looked to be a thick skinned waterbed, which was original for the TARDIS. Usually she liked making non watery things in case they burst. One wall was stacked with bookshelves filled with what looked like romance novels from different planets. Well, the kid did say he liked romance so that was normal. There was also a desk with a laptop on it. It was all in red, black and grey.

"If this has anything I wanted, why is there a bed and not a recuperacoon instead?" Karkat asked, pointing to the offending piece of furniture.

"I don't even know what that is."

"It's what we sleep in. It's a hollowed out cubicle with sopor slime inside, it stops us from dreaming. We kind of have this awful fucked up past, and the whole damn species suffers nightmares because of it. It helps us to sleep. Not that there's anyone left of my species but me anymore..."

"I think the reason why you don't have one of them is because the TARDIS doesn't like the thought of the slime. But you won't need it anyway, and why she gave you a waterbed suddenly makes more sense. It will simulate as best it can being submerged in a liquid, but instead you'll be on top of a liquid. The TARDIS will make sure you have a dreamless sleep for a bit. She will stop that as it is important you come to terms with what has happened and dreams are the usual way for that process to take place. No wonder your species is so aggressive. The last bit you said I'll talk to you later about. Just know I know how that feels."

He made it a point not to pick Karkat up on his use of swear words which were drifting around in his otherwise normal speech patterns. If the TARDIS wasn't making a big deal out of it, it is probably a hard habit he had gotten into very young which would be hard to break.

He had heard much worse cursing before, anyway.

Watching the boy as he walked over to one of the bookshelves and pick out a book, he left him to it. Closing the door he heading towards his own room to go think. If what Karkat said was true and he really was the last of his species, he really had his work cut out from him. It was hard enough to deal with being as old as he was when it had happened and the only other person he had known and travelled with who had gone through the death of her species and world was Nyssa, and she had roomed with Tegan who had helped her deal with it, especially during the nights.

Karkat was much younger. At a guess, he had only recently entered puberty. A volatile enough time as it is. With this on top of it...

Well, things were about to get interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

This story will alternate views. Mainly it will switch between the Doctor and Karkat. This chapter is Karkat's. He's a bit...overemotional right now.

* * *

Chapter Two

Karkat heard the door close behind him and he peeked around the book he had picked up to see that the Doctor had indeed left and wasn't hanging around his new respite block like an overly devoted lusus. He kind of liked it, the room that is. But it was so not like any self respecting troll would have.

Not that he was exactly the best troll there was, he had spent most of his life before the game had been started hiding in his hive, terrified someone would find out his blood colour. An instant culling that certain piece of information would have earned him.

Thankfully, he had made friends that didn't really care about the hemocaste and followed his lead, regardless of blood colour. Sure Equius had been a bit stiff about it, but that guy was just plain creepy when it came to his obsession with the caste system, and Eridan could be a bloody shit stain when it came to thinking anyone one under his colour was utterly ripe for the culling forks.

But there had been Gamzee, the highest of the land dwelling castes who didn't give a crap about who was higher or lower. He was basically friends with anyone who was there, except when he was going batshit insane and killing everyone. And Feferi, the highest caste there was had been a total sweetheart. Her idea of culling someone was giving them a hug and chatting to them.

All dead now.

Shaking his head to get rid of that last thought, he took the book, a human romance novel, to the bed. Slowly, as he wasn't sure what to expect, he sat on the piece of furniture and was surprised and somewhat relieved when the bed started moving in slow wavy motions. Waterbed, right, a thick hide filled with water by the look of it. He shouldn't puncture it with his claws. He laid down on it with the book, the only light on in the room a small bedside lamp.

He tried to concentrate on the book, he really did. He had read a few human romance novels since he had found out about the species and though they were plain and simple with only one quadrant for the most part, he enjoyed the simplicity. His concentration though was nothing, and the gentle rocking of the bed, mixed with his calming mind after the hellish few days he had been through was enough to put him to sleep.

It wasn't until he woke up hours later that he noticed he had forgotten to lock the door behind him. The lamp had been switched off and a blanket had been thrown over him. The book he had started to read was neatly on the bedside table. He definitely hadn't fallen asleep like that, so that meant the Doctor had been in here and did it while he slept.

He was very uncomfortable with that thought. He liked his privacy. And he didn't like unexpected visitors. He especially didn't like the thought of people around him when he was so vulnerable. Anything could happen. It was a miracle he had woken up at all!

Terror at what could have happened to him gave way to anger and he threw the blanket off, stalked out into the corridor and set off in the same direction he had been sent yesterday when he had gotten on the ship. Soon he was back in the main room, with all its stairs and the weird column in the middle that was busy now moving up and down.

He thought it looked like some sort of depraved sex toy. He'd read about them in one of his more erotic books. Once he had moved his eyes away from the glass like beads inside the column, he turned his sights on the newest bane of his existence and anger turned to rage.

"What the fuck part of wanting privacy don't you understand, you fucking nook sniffing bulge licker."

The Doctor looked surprised to see him there. "Well, hello to you too. Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

"I'm amazed I woke up at all, considering someone decided it would be nice to go into my room while I fucking slept and do god knows what to me. What the fuck did you do? Why did you do it? And never, ever dare do it again, or I will gut you with my sickles!"

He saw understanding light up in the Doctor's eyes. Before they closed and the man sighed. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I keep forgetting that you're not just a child but one that has not only been through a lot the past few days, but who lived on a very dangerous world. I don't know much about your species, and what I do know is all second hand. You have every right to be angry with me."

"Yes, I do! Just...leave my respite block alone. It's mine. I don't like people snooping about my things. Even if they are made by your crazy fucking ship out of thin air."

"She doesn't make anything out of thin air, except the rooms themselves. She has endless space in here. She takes real copies. People then tend to think they've lost their copy wherever she had taken them from. She's a bit of a kleptomaniac, my old girl."

For some reason this actually makes him less angry and perks his interest. "They're all real books?"

"Every single one of them. Have a whole lot more too. Got a universe full of books in the Library. Those were the ones she thought you would have an immediate interest in reading."

He barked out a laugh and coughed afterwards. Lately his voice had been breaking. Fucking embarrassing. At least it wasn't as bad as some of the other boys. Gamzee had loved every second of it. His moirail had been one hell of a weird guy though, so that was pretty much normal. Good news about that was soon he'd have a growth spurt. About fucking time! That may be a bit problematic without a supply of sopor slime though...

"How long has that been going on?"

"Has what been going on?"

"Your voice breaking. I can give you something to ease your throat if it is irritating you to coughing, though it shouldn't."

"It's fucking fine. And not long. A few days. Not that it's any of your business. Mainly it's just kind of embarrassing you know?"

He got a chuckle out of that one. Bastard, was he laughing at him? "Most boys in existence feel that way, and I was definitely one of them. I was early. It was hell."

"I was the youngest in my group of twelve. Six boys, six girls. Not necessarily the slowest to reach this point but...fuck, why am I even telling you this? Shut up, I'm fine, it doesn't hurt. It doesn't feel like anything, it's a damn noise. That's it, the end."

The Doctor sighed and came around the console towards him. "I'm trying to figure out a time frame. You may be suffering from mood swings, and given your past...that's going to be not very helpful at all. So, are you normally angry, or is this new?"

"It's pretty much my default setting since you need to know so much. This is me toning it down. I just...I needed something, you know? To protect me and I naturally am easily frustrated and kind of...annoyed and grouchy. Everything was just so fucking unfair. I could barely leave my hive, because I was so fucking scared out of my mind someone would immediately just know my blood colour and cull me on the spot. You have no idea, none at all what my life has been like!"

Hands were up in the air and patting before his face. A sure sign the Doctor was retreating. "I know that. You don't have to worry about me not knowing that. Believe me, while I may not understand, I do know the kind of world you have lived on and have seen what that does to people."

He nodded before he took a deep breath and another before running his hands through his hair and growling. "Ugh, I need to go somewhere quiet and calm down..."

"There are gardens in the TARDIS. A gym, your room, a library, the rec room. Feel free to just wander around anywhere really. It's all up for grabs."

He blinked at that one. "You mean absolutely anywhere I can go, no off limits?"

"Sure! Just, no playing with the console here, unless you want to blow us all up, and even then the TARDIS will more than likely stop that from happening if you did decide you wanted to do that. Please don't. I like being alive."

He shook his head at that, and took off down a corridor before another word could be said. If this was to be his new home, then he wanted to explore it. Maybe he could find somewhere to make his own secret place. He liked the thought of having some place to go when he wanted to hide away. It beat the hell out of going off to sulk on the horn pile. And it could be made a whole lot more comfortable too.

Thinking of those stupid horns just made him think of Gamzee and that was bad territory to be in. He had just spent what felt like half of the day before in hysterical tears, he refused to cry again now. He'd wait for when he was alone in his room with the door safely locked behind him for that.

Better still if he found himself a secret place, maybe there he could use it as an escape away from the Doctor and a quiet place to grieve his losses in private. It was kind of obvious the Doctor had no idea what privacy was. It was highly unsettling to him to say the least. He had very high standards when it came to his privacy.

He found the library and almost stayed in there just to see what kinds of books he could find just lying around, but instead he wandered back out, content in knowing that there was a place he could go to read if he wanted to. He liked his romance novels for sure, and he liked code books, especially if they were for computers, not that he was any good at it, not like Sollux had been. God, Sollux, the stupid fuck had killed himself for absolutely no reason...

Dave and Rose had failed to destroy the sun. They had seen an explosion and thought they had succeeded and Sollux had died getting them there using his crazy as fuck psionic powers. They had been met up by Aradia telling them that something went wrong and that they were in a doomed timeline and she was going back to fix it.

For everyone else it had been a doomed timeline. He had been saved from some kind of fucked up death by the Doctor. Probably Jack would have found him and killed him. Again. Fucking brilliant. As if the first time hadn't been the biggest betrayal in his life to date.

He had been through so much lately that he either spent his spare time crying or screaming at others. And now he was alone because the Doctor was god knows where and he was getting himself lost. Not that he believed the ship would let him stay lost, and he really felt like he should turn back around and go to his room now. He was getting a bit too overemotional and needed to lie down to stop the blinding headache he could feel coming on in his think pan.

It was at that time that a door caught his eye. It wasn't his door with his name and the quadrants on the front. No, it was just a simple wooden number. Slowly, he opened it and found one of the gardens the Doctor had told him was in the TARDIS. The plants were all dead, but the soil was still there and looked ready for more things to be planted, not that he in any way was a gardener. That had been Jade's thing. And he really didn't want to think of her right now...

It was a small round room, and the trellises in the centre were rotting away with dead vines choking them. He frowned. He really felt the need to clean that shit up. He ignored it to continue his short look around the room. It was then that he spotted it. It wasn't much really, just a slight indent in one of the rocks in the wall, but when he got it out of the way, he found a cubby hole that was filled with blankets.

Maybe an animal slept in here at one stage. Well, it was gone now. Long abandoned by the looks of it. Slowly, he pulled out the blankets and shook off the dust, coughing a bit, before putting them back in the hole. Taking a peek towards the door, he slowly lowered himself to his hands and knees, crawled into the cubby and curled himself up on the somewhat cleaner blankets.

It was comfortable and dark. It was hidden away if the TARDIS didn't show the Doctor where it was and it was therefore private. It would do for a getaway place. A little hidey hole to come when things got too much for him to stand and he couldn't put up with the Doctor.

He would go get himself some fresh blankets though, these ones were god awful and still caked in dirt. A nice, comfortable pile of clean blankets sounded quite nice right then.

"You better not tell the Doctor where this is, or I will hit that self destruct button on purpose..." he stated out loud, not even knowing if the ship could understand him.

A comforting thrum in his mind let him know that she got the message. Having a telepathic guardian, like all Lusi were, he was used to that kind of gentle mind contact. And at least he knew that the TARDIS was going to keep his secret place a secret. She was definitely friendly in his head.

The Doctor may annoy the hell out of him, but at least his ship was cool.

He crawled back out, his mind already more in a better place, now he had found himself a getaway place to come to. Thankfully he wasn't angry anymore. Taking that as a good sign that he wouldn't just explode in the Doctor's face again if he was to face him, Karkat exited the small garden room and made his way back to his respite block.

He would get that book read today. It was his set goal. For now at least. Later, he'd probably try and see if Trollian worked on this laptop, since he left his husktop on the damned meteor. If not...well, he could crawl under the blankets on his new bed and fucking cry.

God, he was just...so depressed when he stopped and thought about shit like that... he was 6 sweeps old, he should not be suffering like this. He should be off trying to fill his Quadrants like any other 6 sweeps old new teen.

Fuck, now he remembered why he tended to stay angry. Angry was easy, this sadness was like a weight that would drag him down, hold him under the water and choke him to death.

He did what he always did in these situations. He began hyperventilating. He was so stupid when it came to things like this. His own emotions always got to him. If he didn't freeze, he completely went into meltdown mode or ran like a coward.

So stupid.

He stopped walking and slid down the nearest wall to hug his knees and keep his head down. He really needed to catch his breath. If he didn't he was going to be in full panic mode in roughly a minute and he hated panic attacks.

And as was always his luck in such situations, someone had to catch him in the act. He felt the Doctor's arm around his shoulders and he flipped out. "No! Go away! Don't touch me! Don't...fuck, please, don't. Don't."

"Hey, shh, it's okay, you're having a panic attack. It will pass, do you want me to let go of you, or do you want me to stop doing something else?"

"Yes! Fuck...yes, just...let me go. I need to breathe. Can't breathe..."

The arms wrapped around him disappeared and it didn't lower his panic levels like he thought it would. He whimpered and buried his head further between his knees. He was such a stupid idiotic coward. No wonder everyone was dead, with him as their leader.

Now, of course, he was fucking crying again. Always with the fucking tears! He really, really hated himself sometimes.

To top it off he felt someone else join them in the hallway, sitting down beside him, not touching, and just...kind of being there in the background. He didn't bother raising his head until he could breathe again, though he hadn't yet quite stopped the tears. It was a woman. He instantly liked her hair. It reminded him of a mix between Gamzee and Aradia. All wild and thick.

"River, Karkat. Karkat, this is River, my wife."

She smiled at him and he scowled back. He was calmed down further when she didn't take offence and laughed instead. "Oh, this one has heart. I like him already, sweetie."

"River is an archaeologist. She studied mythology quite extensively too, and other odd beliefs. Your people crop up in Earth history at one point, but not for very long. It's the only reason I recognised you. I...sort of basically slept through most of my classes on your species, whenever they popped up, because, well, I was more interested in the humans to be honest. Sorry about that."

He just stared at the Doctor, before turning his head back to River. "What do you know?"

She shook her head. "Not much. I know that you have a much more complicated romance system than humans, with your four quadrants, and I know a bit about them all, though my info could be wrong. I also know of your hemocaste system and the order. I know that it was a tough world to have lived on. I also know of your lusus guardians. And about the mother grub. But that's it."

"That's...basically it really. I mean, considering the world we lived on, the only really fucked up people in my group were Vriska and Eridan."

"What about the one you killed?"

He shook his head. "Gamzee...he was usually so docile. He _hated_ hurting people, and liked being friends with everyone, which is fucked up in itself, considering his blood was purple. I mean the killing spree he went on after we got stuck on that fucking meteor was actually _normal_ for his caste. But no, he killed us because someone decided to break his religious beliefs and he had a break down in the form of a psychotic break. It's kind of fucked up that we were moirails, since he should have wanted nothing more than to kill me on sight if things were all normal with his think pan."

"You were forced into killing your moirail?"

He nodded. It was all the response he felt ready to give right then. He wasn't about to explain why he had done it. That would break him.

"Right, anyone care to tell me exactly what a moirail is, because I am kind of getting lost here..." The Doctor stated, and the confusion was definitely there in his voice. Too bad he wasn't in the right mindset to actually talk about that certain quadrant right now, otherwise he may have been able to calm down fully.

"It's sort of like a platonic soul mate. Moirails make sure the other one is in good health, usually. Mentally and physically. They are there to discuss and help the other through any problems they may have. They keep each other in check. They have a special knack of calming each other down. Kid, you really are in quite the jam aren't you?"

He was not in any kind of jam, this place as far as he knew was jam free. "I want my moirail. I _need _my moirail. I need him here with me. Gamzee...fuck, _why_?!"

This time when arms wrapped around him, he welcomed the embrace given, because he needed it right then, and because it also wasn't coming from the Doctor who he'd never choose in any quadrant.

They were both adults, which was weird, but hey, he'd take what he could get where he could get it, since his options weren't exactly the best right now. His mind latched on to the one thing it could, and clung to the woman holding him.

It took him a half hour to calm himself down after that. He had difficulty in stopping himself from crying right now, and screw them if they bought it up with him.

"Alright now?" River asked, and he nodded when it was appropriate. His throat was raw and sore.

"Can you please get your claws out of my sides then? That hurts. I only have soft squishy human skin, you know."

"Oh, fuck, sorry." He removed his hands from around her, and was instantly feeling guilty when he saw blood on his fingers. "I didn't mean to do that, I swear. I didn't want to do that!"

She reached up her own hands and started moving them through his hair, and it was enough to get him to relax a bit. She wasn't angry at him. That was good. "I understand that. Sometimes we do stupid things when we're not thinking. But hey, we do stupid things when thinking too, and those are usually much worse. So forget about it. It was not something you had any control over at that moment."

He nodded. Fuck. Things were happening way too fast here. He needed time alone to sort out his feelings. Gamzee had not been dead for a full day and he was already replacing him? Yet again, given how much he was in desperate need of a moirail right now, it figured his mind would immediately latch on to the first available target who seemed to be good in the role.

"I need to go lie down. I have a headache. And I kind of feel sick..."

Kind of was an understatement. He felt like he was going to vomit. Shit, fuck. Nope, he _was_ going to vomit. "I'm going to be sick..."

He crawled as far as he could away from them before what was left of his lousy little meal from the day before showed itself again. Most of the time he spent dry heaving, and his poor nutrition sack couldn't take that for long without cramping on him and causing even more discomfort.

Hands were on his back and he let them rub him into a pile of goo that could be considered contentment if he didn't feel like the world was collapsing around him. Again.

"I'm sorry. Does the ship care that I just made a mess of her insides?"

"She doesn't mind. She likes you."

He closed his eyes, cocked his head to the side and listened. Taking the cue, he heard the TARDIS again sing softly in his head, not angry at him. He relaxed further. "Fine. I want to go back to my block now and lie down. My head is fucking killing me..."

"Alright. I'll walk you to your room. With any luck it should be close by."

He grunted. "Better right in front of me, but I do need to move. I'm cramping..." Of all the stupid luck in Paradox Space, his voice cracked harshly on the cramping. Ow, damn it. He closed his eyes and sighed. "I hate my life right now. I just...hate everything."

"I'll go get you some water," the Doctor replied before disappearing off in the opposite direction he and River had begun waking in. She kept one hand on his shoulder, keeping him from stumbling and on his feet. Not that he needed the help, really. He just needed the contact so he knew right then he wasn't alone. At least this River was keeping him grounded. That more than anything made him begin to come out of the panic and relax slightly more than he had been since his thoughts had taken their decidedly bad turn.

He was going to make it to his block, he was going to lie down and rest his head for a while, and then he was going to finish his book like he planned. Maybe if he was up to it, he'd take some blankets to his new hidden pile.

He was going to make it through this. He'd do it for Gamzee and the others.

He _had_ to make it through this for them.

It was just so fucking hard...

He kept repeating silently to himself the walk to his respite block that it would get easier. All he needed was time. Too bad he wasn't a Time player. His aspect was Blood. He still had no idea what that meant.

Maybe he was destined to be the last Troll to survive.

It didn't get much more ironic than that.


	3. Chapter 3

Hmm, with all the deaths and the content in this fic already...do you think I should have put a trigger warning on this story?

Wow, I got flamed. Some person telling me they hated me and how I write and how I should stop and I was a horrible, nasty person. It actually got me fully back into writing, when I was pulling my hair out while attempting to finish this chapter. This chapter, short though it may be, gave me a lot of trouble and I am really, really not happy with it. I rewrote parts of this over and over again. Bleh. Hope its readable... This chapter is mainly to show the relationship between the Doctor and River and how I perceive it. Though it comes off more...told instead bleh.

Also, questions were asked of me. To answer them, Aradia wasn't killed as she had to restart the timeline from when it went wrong (in this case, Dave and Rose left the Green Sun too late, causing a Doomed Timeline. Gamzee is good at cleaning those things up :P) Karkat lost contact with John and Jade shortly before the Scratch and therefore has no idea if they are alive or dead. Since he thinks everyone else is dead, he assumes that Jade and John were erased from time when the Scratch occurred, as he had no one to tell him otherwise, as he didn't get a letter from them telling him they were alright and alive. Jade sent the letter when Dave and Rose got to the meteor. By that time, Jade and John knew what had happened through Jade's awesome Bec-Spacey powers.

It will be explained in story, mainly through Pesterchum/Trollian chats.

Also, thanks go to Kouru-Kage who corrected me of my little erotic slip in there XD I fixed it as soon as I read your review and allowed it so eveyone can laugh at the silliness of my mistake :P

* * *

Chapter Three

The Doctor took his time when it came to getting a simple glass of water, hoping that a bit of time alone in the dark, or with River would help ease Karkat's mind a bit. He knew what losing your world and friends felt like. He lived with that pain himself every day and would for however long he lived.

He hated that someone so young had to go through that same kind of pain. And he was more sensitive about it too. Karkat had informed him that he used anger as a shield against other emotions, but at least he knew that for the most part that was not how he truly was. He felt closer to the poor kid when he was crying his heart out over his losses.

He was beginning to think the real Karkat hidden under all that anger was just as much a scared boy as any other person his age would be with such huge changes pushed on him. As any person any age would be. He was still searching fruitlessly for forgiveness for what he had done to his people and planet during the Time War. He'd never get it.

Hmm, was it possible Karkat blamed himself for what happened? But surely it wasn't his fault. It was his friend, his moirail that had gone on the killing spree, and he still wasn't sure what had happened to Alternia. Now was definitely not the time to ask either.

He'd let the boy settle in, take a few weeks to get used to life as it was on board the TARDIS, before even thinking of breaching that question. He had already ruined the trust that could have been between them, though he was sure he could win it back. Thankfully, Karkat seemed fine with River, going to her for comfort.

Things would work out great if they all just got along like that. He'd try his best to remember when he got a little too excited that he was not to barge in on his room any longer. What had Karkat called it again? Oh yes, his respite block. Seemed a bit wordy for bedroom, but hey, if it made the kid feel more at home respite block it was.

Shaking his head, he made his way to the kitchen, and stared at the taps for a few seconds. "Well, how are we going to do this, Old Girl? Should I just get a glass of water and take that, or is that too simple?"

In the end he chose to fill a plastic pitcher up with water, grabbed a glass, and made three cheese sandwiches as that was the closest thing to filler he could find on short notice. Karkat didn't seem to be eating much of anything, and the boy's stomach was now empty.

He could fix that. That was the easy part. The hard part would be everything else...

Karkat was not in any way alright. He had been angry and bitter before whatever happened with his friends had happened. There was the possibility that the kid was depressed. Paranoia was definitely showing and he was probably an insomniac judging from the bags under his eyes. Those were also problems to work on.

Too bad he wasn't that kind of doctor...

Putting the food and pitcher on a tray, he made his way to Karkat's room. It took the TARDIS five minutes before she allowed him to find the room, but that was okay, as it gave the boy time to calm down a bit more and maybe have a talk to River. She was a lot better at things like that than he was. Well, sometimes. He could definitely help him with his being alone. He shared that trait with him.

Kicking the door slightly when he reached it, it was opened a moment later by River.

"I come with water for Karkat and sandwiches! Cheese. I don't know if you like cheese or not but it was the first thing I could find to put on a sandwich. Sorry. I don't even know if you're omnivorous, carnivorous or herbivorous."

"I eat cheese. And meat. I'm not much of a fussy eater, I just don't really have much of an appetite most of the time."

"So you eat what's available! Good trait to have. You have a very empty stomach though and need something in it. So I made three, if you can eat one I'd be happy. Then there's one for all of us. I'd say try to eat at least two though." He held out one of the sandwiches for the boy to take.

Karkat rolled his eyes. "Yes crabdad."

How a crab could possibly be a dad was beyond him, unless it was with little baby crabs of course. Then it would be completely appropriate but..."I'm a crab? Really?"

"You can be, sweetie. Especially when left alone too long."

River's answer brought a small smile onto Karkat's face though and the boy reached for the sandwich and slowly but surely ate it. Well, that was good. He at least was now eating. One goal accomplished. He seemed a lot calmer too.

"You seem a lot calmer. Are you feeling any better? Sometimes it helps to cry."

Karkat scowled at him and lowered his head. "I guess so. I have a headache still and my body aches, but I think I'm better with my emotions now..."

"Do you want another sandwich? It will at least help calm your stomach down."

The scowl deepened at that and the boy shook his head. Sighing, the Doctor handed one of the leftover sandwiches to River, who took and begun eating. He ate the last one. Well, at least the food wouldn't go to waste like this. It was still being eaten, just not by the person who should be eating it.

Afterwards, he put the tray on the bedside table and poured a drink out into the glass and handed it over.

"Drink. You're dehydrated. It will help with the headache and pains."

At least he had no trouble coaxing him to drink. He basically inhaled the water instead of drank it and then handed the glass back for more. He poured another glass, before stepping back. If he wanted more he could get it himself. He was capable of it.

The silence was worrying. Karkat didn't seem the type to be quiet. His voice was loud, filled with long sentences, and usually had a lot of swearing involved. That had all been absent since he had come in the room.

"So, any plans as to what you want to do? We could stop off somewhere and get something you may like...I still do tend to buy things and not rely on the TARDIS to give me whatever she feels like I want or need. That'd be silly. Well, it is silly, but it can come in handy. It's a bit of a pain when some systems are down though. The heating sometimes screws up. I'm still not sure if she does it on purpose or it is a fault in her system. I..."

"Will you shut the fuck up?! What part of 'I have a headache' did you not understand? The last thing I want to listen to right now, is you going on and on about your fucking ship! And for your information, yes, I have plans. I'm going to lie on the bed I have right here, and read. That's it! Quiet time. Relaxing time. Maybe you've heard of it, but given how you're so fucking hyper you can't stay still for one second without either talking or hopping around like a fucking rabbit, I very much doubt this. So shut up, take your weirdly shaped pale self out of my block and don't come back until tomorrow. You got that? Is that too hard to understand? Too much for you to figure out?"

Blinking in surprise, the Doctor raised his hands. "Whoa alright, I will leave you alone to read then." With that said, the Doctor turned to go out the door.

River smiled at him and his hearts beat out of rhythm for a few seconds, before getting back into pattern. She was so beautiful and she was his. He still had no idea how that had happened. Not fully at any rate. All he knew was that he was lucky to have her as his wife.

Shaking his head, he grinned back, kissed her quickly and left the room.

* * *

It took a half hour of mucking around with the TARDIS's insides and what felt like endless, boring waiting, until River joined him again. He stopped what he was doing for a moment and looked up at his wife. He had a nice view when she was up top and he was below the console.

"How is he?"

She smiled down at him. "He's resting for a bit. The TARDIS will wake him up in an hour, or he'll never sleep the night through. A nap will do him some good. He's emotionally exhausted, but I believe he'll get through this. He's strong."

"Yes, I don't think he's someone who gives up very easily. The TARDIS will make sure he doesn't injure himself or anything, so no need to worry about that right now. So! River, what have you been doing with yourself before you showed up for our now cancelled date. At least I think it's cancelled, I don't really think it a good idea to leave the TARDIS right now, with a young, rebellious teen on board."

She walked down to him with that decidedly sexy sway of her hips she does when they were usually alone somewhere. "We have an hour before he wakes up. Use your imagination sweetie. Who says we need to leave the TARDIS to have a good time together?"

He grinned at her. "I know that. It just...seems inappropriate? There's a young teen on board."

"Doctor, you like them young. There's always a teen on board. Alright, not always but it sure feels it sometimes."

"Never as young as Karkat. He's still so...childish."

River frowned at him, put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him, reaching away when he began to kiss back. "Yes, he is a bit young. We'll lock the door behind us even though he is currently asleep. Better?"

He thought about it for a second, before grinning. "The TARDIS will make sure he sleeps an hour. We'll just be...quiet."

"Quiet? You?! Let's put that one to the test, shall we. You are never quiet, my love."

"There's a first time for everything. I just don't like the thought of him...knowing about these things."

River laughed at that one, loudly and fully. "Oh you silly man. He's a romance fan. Believe me, he'd think you tame and a bore."

Put out by that, he folded his arms across his chest and pouted. "Thanks! You make me feel so nice and good about my prowess in bed..."

With a grin, she went back to having her hands on his shoulders and kissing him. "You're fine in bed, Doctor. Stop making this out to be some huge thing. It's not. You had children once, so you know what it's like."

"Yes, I had children. And they are always walking in on you."

"I did say we'd lock the door."

Shuffling on his feet, holding his wife close, he sighed. It wasn't every day that River visited him, and usually visits were pre-planned, and those that weren't usually had them accidentally meeting on an adventure somewhere. Other times, like his first visit with her in the Library, usually involved a quick message asking for help which he always showed up for.

"Yes. Locks are a good thing. Okay, you have sold yourself to me, you wild thing, you. My room then. I know yours doesn't have a lock."

She grabbed hold of his hand and dragged him to where he had a room stored away for when he needed sleep and wasn't working on the TARDIS and slept in his swing seat.

Sex between them was usually loud, hard, fast, messy and wild. This was measured on a scale system usually depending on how many people either of them had slept with while away from the other, since both of them had quite happily agreed to an open marriage. Sometimes afterwards they'd talk about who did who or what while away from the other as an interesting sex based conversation, before going at it again.

It made things interesting for the both of them.

This time was different. Trying to be quiet meant he wanted slow and quiet and laid back. This made River constantly giggle in humour. But it was definitely much quieter, and he was satisfied that he wouldn't wake Karkat up this way if they decided to go at it again when the kid was awake. Either way though, the door was staying closed and locked.

Most of the hour they had free together they spent quietly just holding each other. It was new and comforting to him. They had never really been much for slowing down and stopping to just enjoy each other's company before.

Things tended to get a bit hectic in his life when they were together, especially on the occasions when it wasn't a set date. He decided a bit more time spent in the TARDIS with her like this would definitely be worth it.

He had been dressed for roughly five minutes when River left to go check on Karkat to see if he was awake or if he still continued to sleep. Deciding to do as he was told for once, he chose to stay away until tomorrow. He had a tendency of setting Karkat off that was for sure.

Doing what he was likely to do when bored and not in the mood for shelves, he made his way to the kitchen to start working on a big dinner. He would get that boy eating properly if it was the last thing he did.


	4. Chapter 4

Wow. This took forever. I have never written the pesterlog chats before in a story and it took up a lot of my time, getting the right colours (both RGB and number code for each colour) and trying out each of their quirks. I am still not sure I got them all right, because they can be spur of the moment things, especially with Karkat, who sometimes leaves out the period at the end of his sentences and sometimes puts it in for whole lines of dialogue. I'm still not sure if he just does that when monologuing about something, or if it depends on his emotions at the time. So I used it as both, sort of. And also, sorry this thing isn't in colour...this site should really add the option to colour text. I have it all nicely coloured in my word processor and on my LJ, but here, nope. Won't accept colour...

If it is too hard to read the chats in all black while formatted the way it is, please tell me and I will put a space between each person's typing, so you know another person is speaking. It will be easier with one person being Karkat who is the only one here who types in all caps.

Also, damn not being able to keep in Jade's hearts.

I never said there wouldn't be chats with the kids by the way, and I have no idea why people assumed that. If he couldn't communicate with them, then he'd not only be fully alone but never learn at all what happened to his game session through the others. And I did say he'd learn that. I know I can be mean to my favourites, and Karkat is definitely my favourite, but I'm not THAT mean to him.

He will end up meeting the kids in person sooner or later. There are limitations to this, though it is possible that Jade can warp to Karkat and back to the ship if he is outside the TARDIS, so expect the kids to show up in person soon.

Also, this has my Troll life cycle headcanon thrown in. For something for Karkat to go on about instead of what is going on with his emotions, because avoiding the issues. Also some headcanon pairing (Dave moirails with Terezi before they tried their whole matespritship fling on the meteor.)

Well, hope you continue enjoying the story!

* * *

Chapter Four

The first thing Karkat did once he woke up from his nap (and did that ever make him feel like a wiggler again...) was drink the rest of the water left in the jug. He had been sweating in his bed, as the covers had been put over him before he had fallen asleep and he had overheated. He had soon learnt his lesson about that. Blankets were hot. They were for lying on top of not wrapping himself in unless he was cold or shaking for...other reasons. Thankfully, his pile in the making would be for lying on.

The sheets were fine to be under though. He found it oddly comforting to be able to bury himself under the cloth.

He stretched, looked around his block more carefully and blinked. A door he hadn't noticed the day before was there. Getting up, he made his way towards the room and slowly opened the door, only to find himself in an ablution block. Near the door was an ablution trap, on the opposite side of the room furthest away from the door was a load gaper. Great. He didn't have to worry about trying to find one later in the huge mass of the ship.

He'd need the thing sooner or later with how much water he'd been drinking.

Exiting the new block, he turned back towards his bed, closing the door behind him. There, waiting for him untouched since the first time he had gone off on the Doctor for coming into his respite block without permission was the book he had started reading.

Not in the mood to read now, though his head now felt better and he was more in control of his fucked up emotions, he instead turned to the laptop. He had captchalogued the Trollian disc and had kept it on him at all times since he had gotten the program off Sollux. He always liked to make sure that he had a solid disc copy because he had the odd habit of destroying computers by accident.

Okay, so, some he destroyed purely out of rage. And others he was tricked into destroying by Sollux, the fucking bastard...

Sighing, he put the disc in the machine and waited for the program to install and load. Clicking his claws against the desk, he frowned in rising anxiety. No. No, he would not start hyperventilating again. Not just from opening his chat program.

He was unsure whether he would be able to even reach the game sessions. Even if he could, as far as he was aware, everyone but him was dead. His heart clenched in his chest. He'd be so relieved to see so much as one person logged on.

Once the program had finished loading and he was staring at the login screen, he slowly put in his handle and password and, with growing unease, clicked log in.

All the names down the side of the page, all usually in the colours of the hemospectrum were greyed out. He closed his eyes and sighed. Trollian could reach past and future selves. While he wouldn't be able to reach future selves, because dead, past selves should still be available, he hoped. He shouldn't worry just yet.

Quickly, hoping even one person, even a past version of him, would answer, he opened one of his now infamous memos. He never got to start writing in it.

Someone began messaging him. Bright green text. Human. Jade was on. Jade was on and pestering him.

He let out a bark of laughter at that. She was alive! Did that mean John was too? How did they escape the Scratch? Weren't they supposed to have been wiped from the timeline? Thank god others had made it out! He wasn't the only survivor in this fucked up shared null session.

- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -

GG: oh my god!  
GG: karkat youre alive!  
GG: we couldnt find your body anywhere. we read through your memos and past chats to others and thought you might have flung yourself off the meteor or something like that  
GG: karkat? you there? :O  
GG: please answer, were really worried!

He stared at the words. She said we're. More than just her survived! Oh god, he was so fucking happy about that right now.

CG: YES, I'M HERE.  
CG: I HAD TO INSTALL TROLLIAN ON A NEW COMPUTER.  
CG: GOD, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD IT FEELS TO KNOW I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE TO SURVIVE.  
CG: WHO ELSE IS ALIVE IN YOUR TEAM BECAUSE ALL THE OTHER TROLLS ARE DEAD.  
CG: WHICH YOU MUST KNOW IF YOU SOMEHOW MANAGED TO READ MY MEMOS AND CHATS.  
CG HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?  
GG: karkat!  
GG: all four of us are still alive  
GG: there was a mix up involving time shenanigans  
GG: dave and rose turned up at the meteor past the small window you had to get to the next session  
GG: jack has started sniffing about near the meteor so i will be getting the other three off soon  
GG: its a bit hard to do so without being able to see them though  
GG: i now have bec's powers to warp. I went god tier! :D  
CG: REALLY. CONGRATS, I GUESS.  
CG: GLAD TO HEAR YOU'RE ALL STILL AMONG THE LIVING RIGHT NOW.  
CG: I CAN'T SEE THE OTHERS ONLINE.  
GG: you wont  
GG: you must now be outside the game parameter  
GG: between sessions we were able to communicate because it was a set game parameter for our sessions  
GG: but between different realities is a bit harder  
GG: me and john escaped the scratch by breaking through the wall you had me draw  
GG: it was soooo cooool!  
GG: it took us to a different reality  
GG: one you must be in too!  
GG: we may be able to meet up if i could see where you were but there is major interference  
GG: because of my sprite being half my dead dream self when i went god tier i became part first guardian so am always connected to the green sun  
GG: i dropped john off on the meteor  
GG: i am alone right now and have set up a time to pick the others up  
GG: five minutes to go  
CG: DO YOU WANT TO WAIT UNTIL TIME IS UP BEFORE TALKING?  
CG: I WOULD UNDERSTAND IF YOU DID, BUT DON'T REALLY WANT YOU TO.  
CG: FUCK.  
CG: SORRY.  
CG: I'M KIND OF MESSED UP RIGHT NOW.  
CG: I WATCHED MY MOIRAIL GO BATSHIT INSANE AND KILL EVERYONE ELSE.  
CG: WELL, ALMOST EVERYONE ELSE.  
CG: ERIDAN KILLED TWO OF US.  
CG: VRISKA KILLED ANOTHER ONE.  
CG: TEREZI KILLED VRISKA IN RETURN.  
CG: I WASN'T THERE FOR TWO OF THOSE DEATHS.  
CG: TWO OUT OF TEN.  
CG: ARADIA WENT BACK IN TIME TO FIX WHAT WENT WRONG.  
CG: I AM SO FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT.  
CG: HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE I SURVIVED A DOOMED TIMELINE?  
GG: the rules dont seem to apply outside the game  
GG: you made it out so you are probably safe!  
GG: i am sorry about all your troll friends though  
GG: i liked some of them :(  
CG: SHUT UP.  
CG: I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF FUCKING CRYING.  
GG: hey!  
GG: and considering what you just went through i think crying is a NORMAL reaction  
CG: I HAVE SPENT THE MAJORITY OF THE PAST 2 DAYS IN TEARS.  
CG: I CANNOT AFFORD TO LOSE ANY MORE WATER RIGHT NOW.  
CG: I THINK I AM HEADING FOR A GROWTH SPURT.  
CG: I AM REALLY THIRSTY RIGHT NOW AND HAVE ALREADY DRUNK A JUG OF WATER. I CAN'T WAIT FOR WHEN I START EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.  
CG: I HATE MOULTS.  
GG: moults?  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: YOU KNOW THAT THING YOU DO TO GROW BIGGER.  
GG: humans are different  
GG: we just grow  
CG: LUCKY YOU.  
GG: kanaya told me your species is buggy in origin  
GG: you look so different to insects on earth  
CG: WE'RE SORT OF LIKE YOUR EARTH INSECTS I GUESS. WE'RE MORE A MIX OF INSECT AND REPTILE WITH A TINY BIT OF MAMMAL THROWN IN FOR GOOD MEASURE.  
CG: BUT YEAH, MAINLY EARTH INSECT HERE.  
CG: WE HATCH FROM EGGS AS GRUBS AND SHORTLY AFTER WE PUPATE  
CG: WE CRAWL OUT OF OUR COCCOONS BIPEDAL AND GET CHOSEN BY A LUSUS AFTER WE WIN OUR TRIALS  
CG: WE MOULT ABOUT ONCE A SWEEP.  
CG: I JUST RECENTLY HAD MY WRIGGLING DAY SO I HAVE BEEN EXPECTING A GROWTH SPURT.  
CG: THEN WE PUPATE AGAIN INTO OUR ADULT STAGE WHEN WE ARE AROUND 9 SWEEPS OLD  
CG: OUR ADULT STAGE IS USUALLY A *LOT* BIGGER THAN OUR ADOLESCENT BODIES  
CG: I DOUBT I WILL GROW TOO TALL OR ANYTHING IN MY ADULT STAGE.  
CG: I'M SMALL FOR A TROLL.  
CG: AND YES, THAT IS A SORE POINT FOR ME.  
CG: DON'T GO POKING AT THE ALREADY EMOTIONALLY WOUNDED.  
GG: wow!  
GG: our insects mainly just hatch as grubs grow like that for a bit, pupate and then are adults  
GG: or they hatch as mini versions of their adult forms and moult  
CG: GUESS THEY MUST HAVE GOTTEN SEPARATED SOMEWHERE ALONG THE EVOLUTIONARY TRACK.  
CG: WEIRD.  
CG: YET AGAIN, I DID KIND OF FUCK UP WITH YOUR UNIVERSE.  
CG: AGAIN, SORRY ABOUT THAT.  
GG: stop apologising about that! :(  
GG: youre forgiven ok?  
CG: YEAH. THANKS FOR TALKING TO ME.  
CG: IT HELPS TO KNOW I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT GOT OUT ALIVE.  
GG: :)  
CG: ):B  
GG: i hope with the others here and you have more people to talk to you feel a little better  
GG: i have to go get the others now  
GG: ill be back later!

He waited until Jade had logged off before he let his head drop into his hands. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly, trying to reorient himself with yet another huge world shaking change.

He still had living friends. None of them were trolls like him, all of them human, but they were alive. And, somehow, most of them managed to find their way to safety, or what amounts to it in the Furthest Reach and here in this fucked up alternate of Jade's reality, since her version of the universe no longer exists from what he understood of things.

He needed to talk to Aradia, but unless she could somehow get out of the game session too, that wasn't happening any time soon. If ever.

Leaning back in the chair, he sighed and scratched behind one of his horns. Fuck, he was itchy there. He needed to get clean from his rolling around in his own sweat during his little grub nap. He looked at his fingers and saw small bits of shed skin and bone clinging to the tips of his claws. Scowling, he ran a hand through his hair and got up.

He may as well bathe now and read after he was done with his ablutions, because he was much happier and calm now and in the mood for a good story.

He left the comp on with a busy notice telling the humans that he was in the ablution trap. If they messaged him while he was busy he'd know it. He'd leave the laptop on all night if necessary just to wait to see if they got away from Jack.

He hoped Jade managed to get them all out in time.

By the time he felt clean again and the base of his horns had stopped itching, he had been in there for an hour. Okay, so he had given into temptation and just let himself float in the water for fifteen minutes. He hadn't been able to have a bath in...fuck, over four weeks?!

The same could be said for sleeping, and most other basic needs.

Oh and then there were the pesky hormonal urges... How he had missed _those_ in the past few days since Gamzee went insane. Not. Those could go screw themselves, which was something he wasn't about to do right now. He was more interested in other things. Like seeing if his humans friends were still alive or not or if they had died within the past half hour.

He was greeted with four messages on Trollian and a knocking on the door.

He was tempted to let the knocker be ignored, but hey, at least this time they were knocking and not making themselves at home in his respite block. That was an improvement.

"Karkat? Are you in there?" he heard from the other side and he grinned slightly. It was River, no need to worry then. It was the Doctor right now he was wary about, especially when it came to his room.

"Yeah, wait a minute. Let me put on some clothes..."

He heard her laugh at that. "Am I interrupting something? Do you want to be left alone for a while?"

Frowning, he opened the door, with just the towel wrapped around his waist and his hair still wet and clinging to his head. "I just had a bath you sick fuck...there is no way I'd do what you were assuming in the bath. I'd need another one afterwards, and I really could not be bothered. I have more important shit to think about than getting myself off right now. Like the fact that I have living friends still. I am going to go talk to them. And then I am going to do what I have said I'd do all fucking day and read my book."

River smiled at him and nodded. "You look much better than when I left you. And a lot cleaner too."

"Yeah, I feel better and definitely a lot cleaner for that matter. I don't even want to know what that gunk in my hair was, but I think it was a mix of blood, oil and fuck knows what else. Ugh, the bases of my horns were flaking from bad hygiene habits the past few weeks. I hate when that happens. Itches like all hell."

Once again his answer was a smile. River sure did smile at him a lot. Yet again, if she was feeling all pale for him, it was to be expected, he supposed. He didn't know how a moirallegiance with a human would even work, if it could. He'd prefer to get with one of the kids rather than an adult though, but for the time being...well, fuck it. River was fine for the most part.

"I will leave you to dress and talk with your friends then. Enjoy your book when you get around to reading. I will collect you when it is time for dinner. You need to eat more."

He grimaced at that but nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I'll even eat it. I am kind of hungry now..."

He was more thirsty than hungry, but he still did have an appetite now. Probably because he didn't feel as alone now that he knew that those human kids were still alive. They were still all in on this together. It was a relief to know that.

"Go talk to your friends, see how they are doing. I'll come back later."

With that said, River left, closing the door behind her. He blinked at it blankly for a few seconds before he began to blush. Holy fuck, he had just answered the door to an adult basically naked. Before he went back to the computer he was going to get dressed.

He frowned when he realised that he had no other clothes on him other than the ones he had been wearing. Fuck. He needed to get himself a drawer and some clothes as fast as possible, but until then, he guessed he was stuck in the clothes he had been wearing when he had gotten caught up in all of this shit. Three days and blood, guts and other unmentionable fluids and/or body parts were covering them.

He really wanted to burn them and hoped that he never had to see them again, but no, he was to wear them until he found other clothing to wear...

Going back into the ablution block, he quickly put his clothes back on. He had the sudden urge to jump right back into the bath and scrub himself down again. Eww.

Back in his room, he frowned at the four blinking messages waiting for him. Taking his seat, he took a deep breath and clicked on the first one. He was gifted with the sight of blue text. Great...it was John.

- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -

EB: hey karkat!  
EB: jade tells us you're alive, which is good. glad to see one of you got out.  
EB: i thought you threw yourself into space or something stupid like that.  
EB: so thanks for proving me wrong!  
EB: karkat?  
EB: just so you know, i have no idea what you mean by saying you're in the ablution trap and it's kind of worrying me.  
EB: are you ok?  
EB: umm, message me when you get back.

It really, really figured that John left the chat open and hadn't signed out. Fucking figures, now he had to answer as it would be clear he was now on...

CG: ALRIGHT ALREADY, YOU IMPATIENT FUCKWIT. I AM BACK.  
CG: AND TO PUT IT IN A SIMPLE TERM YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND, I WAS HAVING A BATH  
CG: I WASN'T TOO COMFORTABLE SITTING AT THE DESK TALKING TO YOU STUPID HUMAN PESTS COVERED IN MY DEAD FRIENDS BLOOD.  
EB: ew.  
EB: and yeah, i get that.  
EB: sorry about what happened. jade told us what you told her.  
CG: OF COURSE SHE DID.  
CG: WELL IT SAVES ME FROM HAVING TO TYPE IT ALL OVER AGAIN AT ANY RATE  
CG: THANK HER FOR ME.  
EB: will do.  
EB: she says your welcome.  
CG: AND DO YOU *THINK* I'M OK? HONESTLY?  
CG: I JUST SAW MY FRIENDS BEING SLAUGHTERED UNTIL I WAS THE LAST ONE LEFT  
CG: NO  
CG: I AM NOT 'OK'  
CG: I AM THE FURTHEST THING FROM OK ANYONE EVER COULD POSSIBLY BE SND FUCK YOU FOR EVEN ASKING  
EB: wow, you just mistyped!  
EB: yeah, i guess it was a pretty shitty thing for me to ask.  
EB: sorry.  
CG: FUCK  
CG: JOHN, I HAVE TO ANSWER THE OTHERS NOW  
CG: I...  
CG: I DON'T REALLY THINK I CAN TALK MUCH ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW  
CG: AND FUCK FIXING MY TYPO.

He closed the chat with John and lowered his head to the table. Why did they all have to ask such stupid questions?! Fuck...he really didn't want to see what Strider had written. He did the only sane thing he could think of at the time and opened Jade's message.

GG: dont worry about answering this message!  
GG: i just wanted you to know that everything went fine and yes as you know now we are all still alive  
GG: jack didnt get us and now were all leaving you messages to let you see that  
GG: this is my message obviously!  
GG: ill leave you to read what the others have to say and will talk later

Holy fuck, direct and to the point. He could only hope that Rose's message was just as nice and neat. Hell, if anything, she'd try and give him advice on how to get better than he was, since she was so heavily into all that psychological study and shit like that. He hoped she didn't. If he wanted advice, he'd damn well ask for it first.

First though, the douche can get bent. He wanted to really hurt Dave if he so much as blamed him an inch for Terezi's death, since he knew those two were getting pretty tight with each other. He wasn't sure if it was flushed or pale, but they certainly had something in either of those two quadrants.

Karkat had hoped it was Moirallegiance. Now it didn't matter one tiny fucking bit...

He opened Dave's message to see not a wall of red text like he had feared. There was no blame, no rant. There was not much of anything. Hell, he didn't even bother rapping.

For Dave, this was weird. It was actually kind of disturbing...

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] –

TG: hey  
TG: just a message to say look im alive  
TG: jade said you needed to see my red text in person  
TG: so here it is  
TG: enjoy

Dave had logged out. He checked several times before he was absolutely sure he was definitely not on and hadn't just closed the chat. Maybe he'd ask one of the others about his odd behaviour later.

Right now he just wanted to get through Rose's message and go curl up in the covers of his bed again and read. He was so done with emotions right now.

- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] –

TT: I will not give you a false sense of hope or tell you things will get better.  
TT: I am however sorry for your losses in as much of an understanding way as I possibly can be, which, considering your losses, is not as much as I would actually like.  
TT: I miss the fact I will never be able to talk to Kanaya again. Just as I miss the fact I will never go into another battle of one-upmanship with my mother.  
TT: Jade told me that you have started grieving. As much as I can understand the concept from a lowly human point of reference, that is.  
TT: Our emotional reactions seem to be quite similar however. It is fascinating to me.  
TT: Now that we have time to rest and relax, we will start grieving our losses too.  
TT: If you need to talk, or if you need someone who even remotely knew the others in your group, know that we are here.  
TT: We were all close to at least one of you and we have all talked to multiple members of your group.  
TT: Between the four of us, I am pretty sure we knew all 12 of you at least slightly. I believe Jade talked to all twelve of you at one time or another throughout the years/day.  
TT: This reminds me that Jade also talked of your life cycle. How long will you be gone when you do go through this process of moulting?  
TT: I would appreciate you messaging me back after you have read this.

He blinked. Wow, now he knew they were all worried for him. He was more used to sarcasm and snark from Rose, not that he talked to her a lot, but he did enough to know that much about her. For her to be this honest, especially about her own emotional state, regardless of how little she said of that, was huge.

She, like John, was still logged in and hadn't closed the chat. She was waiting for him to respond.

He was betting she already knew he had talked to John, since it was likely they were all in the same room together right now. If Jade heard his message to her through John, it was more than likely so did Rose.

Taking a deep breath, he answered.

CG: HEY.  
CG: THANKS FOR NOT GIVING ME ANY SHITTY PSYCHOBABBLE ADVICE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH MY FUCKED UP SELF.  
CG: I REALLY DON'T THINK I COULD STAND THAT RIGHT NOW.  
CG: TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, AT THE LEAST 5 DAYS, AT THE MOST A WEEK  
CG: CONSIDERING HOW MUCH WATER I'M LOSING THROUGH TEARS AND SWEAT RIGHT NOW, IT WILL PROBABLY TAKE LONGER.  
CG: FUCK MY LIFE SO HARD.  
TT: Thank you for messaging me back.  
CG: NO PROBLEM. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE MUCH ELSE TO DO.  
TT: That I understand perfectly. I am in the exact same predicament.  
CG: FUN ISN'T IT?  
TT: Oh, definitely.  
CG: WAS THERE ANYTHING ESE YOU WANTED OR WAS THAT IT?  
TT: Did you talk to Dave at all?  
CG: NO.  
CG: HE LEFT A SHORT MESSAGE FOR ME, BUT HAD LOGGED OFF BEFORE I READ IT.  
CG: I DIDN'T BOTHER ANSWERING HIM.  
CG: WHY?  
TT: He is much more closed off than normal.  
CG: YEAH, HE DID SEEM PRETTY MUCH WEIRD IN HIS LITTLE NOTE TO ME.  
CG: IT WAS PRETTY MUCH SHORT, TO THE POINT AND LACKED ANY SENSE OF RHYME.  
TT: That is a shocking development. Dave is not usually to the point.  
CG: DO YOU WANT TO READ IT OR NOT? I CAN PASTE IT HERE IF YOU WANT.  
TT: Please.  
CG: TG: hey  
CG: TG: just a message to say look im alive  
CG: TG: because jade said you needed to see my red text in person  
CG: TG: so here it is  
CG: TG: enjoy  
TT: Ouch.  
CG: OUCH WHAT?  
TT: Sorry, for Dave that is a little too blunt. Only time he ever got like that was when I was heading off to blow up the Tumor. I believe he saw it as his duty as our group's Knight.  
CG: BEING THE KNIGHT IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. HE SHOULD HAVE TRIED BEING LEADER ON TOP OF THAT.  
CG: LIKE I SAID, IT SOUNDED WEIRD FOR HIM AND I BARELY TALKED TO THE INSUFFERABLE PRICK.  
CG: ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF IS THAT TEREZI'S DEATH IS REALLY HURTING HIM.  
CG: THOSE TWO HAD A THING GOING ON, EITHER RED OR PALE  
CG: AND IT DEFINITELY WENT BOTH WAYS.  
TT: Oh, Troll romance, charming. I know the red one is close enough to our version of romance, but which is the Pale again?  
CG: LIKE WHAT I HAD WITH GAMZEE. NOT THAT IT HELPED...  
CG: UGH, TRYING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO SOMEONE NOT A TROLL IS FUCKING HARD.  
CG: NO, WAIT, TRYING TO TELL THIS TO *ANYONE* IS HARD.  
CG: EVEN MOST TROLLS IN MY GROUP DIDN'T GET IT. I WAS PRETTY MUCH MR GO-TO-GUY FOR ROMANTIC ADVICE.  
CG: YET AGAIN, WE WERE ALL PRETTY MUCH ONLY JUST BEGINNING TO FILL OUR QUADRANTS AND THINGS TEND TO GO WRONG TO BEGIN WITH.  
CG: THEY SHOULDN'T GO THIS WRONG REALLY, BUT...  
CG: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED. I HAD CALMED HIM.  
TT: Is that what it is? Someone who calms the other down?  
CG: SORT OF. IT IS USUALLY A PAIR OF A CALM, CENTERED TROLL WITH A MORE VOLATILE ONE.  
CG: THE CALM ONE KEEPS THE VOLATILE ONE FROM BECOMING TOO VIOLENT, WHILE THE VIOLENT ONE PROTECTS THE CALM ONE.  
CG: THERE'S MUCH MORE TO IT THAN THAT, BUT IT IS A VERY DEEP TRUST BETWEEN TWO TROLLS.  
CG: OR PEOPLE IN THIS CASE, SINCE DAVE IS HUMAN.  
CG: TEREZI HELPED DAVE THROUGH MOST OF YOUR GAME SESSION. THOSE TWO ALMOST IMMEDIATELY HIT IT OFF.  
CG: THEY BONDED THROUGH THEIR MUTUAL LOVE OF CRAPPY DRAWINGS AND COOLKIDS.  
CG: WHEN DAVE GOT HURT, OR A DOOMED DAVE GOT KILLED, SHE GOT REALLY UPSET ABOUT IT.  
CG: I DIDN'T THINK I'D EVER SEE TEREZI CRY UNTIL I SAW HER DOING SO OVER A DEAD DAVE SHE SAW BEING KILLED.  
CG: GOD DAMN IT  
CG: *SMELLED* BEING KILLED.  
TT: I think it was more closely this Pale Quadrant of yours then.  
TT: Terezi seemed volatile to me when I talked to her and Dave could be seen as calm with his stoic ways.  
TT: He told me that Terezi kept him as calm and centered as he could be after his Bro died in a weird 'them' way. The word justice was brought up quite often as I heard it.  
TT: He basically worshipped his Bro, regardless of their volatile relationship.  
TT: She kept him going when he wanted to give up.  
TT: I can see why he would run off to be alone for a while if this is the case.  
CG: YEAH, TEREZI WAS REALLY INTO THE WHOLE JUSTICE THING. SHE WANTED TO BE A LEGISLACERATOR WHEN SHE GREW UP.  
CG: FROM WHAT I HAVE READ OF YOUR CULTURE THAT'S A BIT LIKE YOUR HUMAN LAWYER PROFESSION.  
CG: POINT BEING, MOIRAILS ARE REALLY IMPORTANT TO US. THEY GENERALLY KEEP EACH OTHER GROUNDED AND AS SANE AS POSSIBLE  
CG: I WAS JUST FORCED TO KILL MY MOIRAIL  
CG: FUCK  
CG: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!  
CG: I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE  
TT: A bit of friendly advice as a friend and not someone who is going all psychobabble on you.  
TT: Don't stop yourself from crying.  
CG: CRYING?! I'M CLOSE TO HAVING ANOTHER FUCKING PANIC ATTACK, NOT CRYING! UNLESS SAID TEARS ARE OUT OF A SENSE OF PANIC THEN I WOULD BE  
CG: I NEED TO GO CALM DOWN  
CG: I'M GOING TO GO LIE DOWN AND READ NOW  
CG: THAT MIGHT WORK TO CALM ME  
TT: That sounds calming to me too. Go read a book.  
TT: Talk again later?  
CG: YEAH WHATEVER.  
TT: Also, keep talking to Jade and John.  
TT: Maybe once Dave has calmed down and has come out of hiding wherever he is you can tell him a bit about this relationship Terezi had with him.  
TT: I think he needs to hear that she cared for him back.  
CG: SURE I'LL DO THAT IF HE EVER DECIDES TO TALK TO ME AGAIN  
CG: I'M GOING NOW  
CG: SEE YA

He logged off before she could answer to his parting words and made his way to his bed. He frowned at the offending piece of furniture, but didn't curse at it. No, in fact right now he was glad he had a bed and not a recuperacoon. It will be a hell of a lot more comfortable to lie on than the floor.

He was probably the only troll who hadn't had a shitty pile of crap lying around for comfort and/or feelings jams before the whole Sgrub thing had started. He had used Gamzee's horn piles when on the meteor while talking to him and trying to keep him calm. Until he entered the game, he hadn't even thought of making one for himself, since he hadn't believed he'd ever actually fill any of his Quadrants.

He'd been a bit too preoccupied with being paranoid they'd find out his blood colour to even try.

He was just too volatile himself he supposed to have had a Highblood as his Moirail. Yet again, until Gamzee went batshit insane again Karkat had been good at it. Better than good even, he had been the best Moirail. He had finally found a Quadrant he instinctively knew by heart.

Taking as much of a deep breath as he could, trying to rid himself of the band that was tightening around his chest and lungs, he crawled onto the bed, felt it sway and move under him, got comfortable with the blanket wrapped loosely around himself and reached for the book.

It worked to calm him down.

Within five minutes he was lost within the story.


	5. Chapter 5

The Doctor goes a little overboard with his enthusiasm in this chapter. Karkat is now getting worried from being around adults. Next chapter, expect more pesterlogs, mainly involving John and Rose. Personally, I love the thought of their middle grub limbs still being visible until their final moult/pupation, and have put them in here too. Vestigial limbs a go.

Also, in the next chapter or the chapter afterwards Karkat is going to end things with River, but don't worry, they will still be close. She is the only adult there right now he trusts.

* * *

Chapter Five

Dinner was roasted pork, ham, chicken and lamb for a bit of variety, along with a few different vegetables, fruits, stews, soups and drinks. It would last quite a while the Doctor figured, seeing as how the table was basically groaning under the weight of the food on top of it.

Still, better too much and have leftovers than too little and starve. River had told him once she had finally been given access to Karkat's room that said boy was hungry.

Hungry was good. Hungry was indeed very, very good.

Now all he had to do was wait. River had gone off to find the room once again to get Karkat for dinner. This time around he enjoyed cooking, and knew he was good at it, so he had no thought that the food was bad or not cooked properly, so it was all entirely edible. Still, the Doctor believed that not much of it would be eaten by the new addition on the TARDIS.

Between grief, his upset stomach earlier in the day, and his already skinny enough appearance, it didn't seem like Karkat ate right or much at all when he did. Still, he was now at that age where he'd be a bottomless pit due to his growing and changing body, so why not get him started in that a little earlier than was entirely necessary.

"Oh my God! Do you expect three people to eat all this? I couldn't eat all this heading into a fucking moult! Just...what the hell? Have you got a legion of hungry grubs to feed or something?"

He looked up and away from his musings when he heard the small swearing being headed his way. Grinning widely, the Doctor shrugged. "No I don't expect only three of us to eat it all, not in one sitting anyway. The TARDIS can put the rest in stasis so that it doesn't go off, so there's food for weeks here. So it's basically eat what you can, of what you want and then go do whatever it is you like doing."

Karkat stared at him for a second, before tugging on the hem of his shirt. "Getting new, clean clothes would be great. I'm covered in my dead friends' blood. Thanks for noticing that little detail, shitstain."

The Doctor looked at the shirt and the sudden realisation hit him. Of course, the hemospectrum, different coloured blood. While he had seen that Gamzee lad bleeding purple it had never quite followed in his mind that the other colours on him were blood as well.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that it would be blood."

Karkat grimaced at that and stared at the food. "Can we stop talking about this and eat? It's been ages since I have had a proper meal. It looks good at least. Better than a stupid fucking sandwich anyway."

Grinning, the Doctor waved River and Karkat towards a seat each and begun to heap food onto the plate in front of where he was sitting. Just grabbing what was closest to him, he was barely aware of what he was eating, more intent on watching the boy with them.

Slowly looking at the food, he noticed he seemed more interested in the meats than the vegetables, seemed slightly interested in some of the fruits, and poured himself a glass of orange juice.

"I can eat anything here? You're not like going to take the food away as soon as I go to grab something are you?" Karkat asked, glaring at him from behind the glass he was slowly sipping from between sentences.

The Doctor frowned slightly at the thought. "Why would I do that?"

Shrugging, Karkat reached for a chicken leg, a slice of lamb and grabbed a bowl of beef stew. He also grabbed an apple and a small bunch of grapes. The Doctor was glad that foods between their worlds weren't that different. Things could have gotten rather messy otherwise.

Then, of course, he got to see those teeth of his in action. They weren't as sharp as he had first thought, but were still predatory in nature. After the first bite, any manners Karkat may actually have when it came to eating vanished. He ate like he had been starved for weeks.

"Whoa, slow down, or you'll make yourself sick again!" he stated, glad when Karkat froze before he took the advice and slowed down. Earlier that day must have still been playing on his mind. No one liked being sick.

Things went calmly, if silently after that. Getting through the chicken and the stew, Karkat managed to eat more than he thought, before stopping. At least he looked more energetic now than he had earlier.

Karkat leaned back in the chair he was on and sighed. "Clothes...I don't want new clothes. Fucking need them, though. Ugh, so dirty..." He picked at the blood which had dried on his shirt. It looked like someone had painted a rainbow on him, poor kid.

"Oh, yes! Clothes! Don't worry, I'm sure we'll have something to your tastes and size running around somewhere in here. I have a huge wardrobe." With that, he jumped to his feet, walked over to the boy, dragged him off his seat and promptly got yelled at for it.

"What the fuck?! I can walk on my own two legs. I have been doing so since I pupated, which is more than I can say for your sorry excuse of a squishy skinned species. Get off my bulge about it."

The Doctor stopped what he was doing, turned to look at Karkat and grinned sheepishly. "You are creative with your words. And pupated? You don't look like any species that does that in this universe. No buggy parts."

He watched as Karkat scowled deeply and lifted up his shirt. Between his ribs and pelvis on both sides of his body laid a ridge on the side of his skin that was black, or at least a darker grey than the rest of him. After a few seconds, you see it as a large, awkward claw, which has had the tip grown into the body naturally to make it non movable. "Vestigial grub legs. When we pupate, they are no longer needed since two legs, yay. But we have all six functioning limbs as wigglers. So fuck you."

And that was the worst thing this boy could have done, because now his brain was firing off on all cylinders with absolute fascination. "Oooh, will you look at that!? You are beautiful, you know? Stunning."

The shirt was quickly pushed down and Karkat backed up several steps, a startled look on his face. "Are you hitting on me?! You sick fuck! I'm only six! I'm not even old enough to breed yet." His voice was several octaves higher than normal. He had truly scared him.

"Hitting on you? I'm not hitting you in any way."

"Flirting! Wanting to get into my fucking pants! Oh my god, you are, aren't you? Fuck, do I have to start screaming rape right now? I knew this would happen. Nothing good comes from adults."

The Doctor blinked, honestly confused. "Flirting with you? Why would I do that? You are still a child and, regardless of what you may hear about me, I am not interested in anyone underage. I tend to just...speak my mind about an entire species over one person sometimes. That remark wasn't about you, it was about your race. I just find things..."

Karkat slapped his hands against his face and groaned loudly. "If you use the word miracle in any way, shape or form, I swear I am going to kill you right here and now. Can I just get some clothes now? Please?! Look, I'm being polite and everything!"

Well, now that he knew what he had done wrong, and Karkat had calmed down again and wasn't accusing him of something he'd never do in a million years, things seemed slightly better, and Karkat had just been polite enough to ask for new clothes. He hadn't taken the death threat very seriously. Smiling, he waved in the direction of the wardrobe and began walking again. "Yes, of course. This way. Any type of clothing you like in particular? You'll probably find styles you've never even dreamed of in here. Mind you, I do have notoriously bad taste in clothes. I just happen to find clothing I like at the time and put it on and there is nothing wrong with that at all! And no matter what anyone tells you, Karkat, always remember that bowties are cool."

Karkat then proceeded to follow slightly behind, while growling slightly under his breath what the Doctor could only think were some rather creative insults.

After a few twists and turns, he found the wardrobe just where he had left it last time he happened upon the room. Opening the door with a flourish, he allowed Karkat to step around him and enter. The boy's jaw dropped and his eyes widened.

"See? Surely there's something in here you will like. I've got plain clothes, dressy clothes, silly clothes, formal wear...you name it I have it, from a wide variety of fashions from different worlds and time periods! You can take whatever you want, it's all up for grabs. And clean, I should add. All shiny and new clothing."

Karkat turned to glare at him. "Holy fuck, you're a male version of Kanaya. Do you make these, or does your ship steal them like everything else?"

"I mainly actually buy things I like, or look good for the time period. It's important you know. The people who travel with me tend to keep the clothes they like so I have to get more. This is my area, not the TARDIS's."

"Yeah, you weren't wrong, you have the worst taste in clothes...I'm going to get lost in pink frills, aren't I?"

"Only if you want to be. Which you don't look too pleased with. There's plenty of black in here, and grey. Oh! Try and find something to wear to bed too. Maybe a few outfits? If we stop by anywhere, we can always come back for the fashionable clothes, or you can keep wearing plain. It really all depends on you."

Rolling his eyes, he watched Karkat as the boy slowly began looking through the clothes nearest to him, all of them in bright colours. It didn't surprise the Doctor at all that there seemed to be an almost permanent scowl on his face. They were not only all ridiculously too big for him, but also too colourful.

He didn't follow him around, instead opting to sit on the floor by the door, occasionally talking out loud to make sure the boy was fine and still looking. He always got a shouted reply back, so just let him go for it.

After two hours, he was getting bored of this, and a bored Doctor was not a fun Doctor. If Karkat hadn't found anything, he can wander around his room naked for all he cared. "Karkat? Have you found anything you like? I think that's enough for today, you can come back tomorrow and look some more."

After a few minutes of silence, he got up on his feet to go look, when he spotted him coming to his waiting area.

"Yeah I found some things," Karkat stated, holding up a lot of black and grey items of clothing in one hand and a pair of jogging shoes in the other. "These will fit me for a bit anyway. Fucking moult coming up."

The Doctor blinked before grinning. "Yes, that tends to happen. You can find clothes that fit once you're done growing. Well, are you going to show me what you got? There are some dressing rooms over here."

Showing him where the changing rooms were, he waited only a short two minutes, before Karkat came out dressed in a dark grey long sleeved shirt, and some baggy looking black jeans. The bloody clothes were left in a heap on the floor. In his hands were his old shoes and a pair of boxers with crabs on them.

"You really like crabs, don't you?"

Karkat blinked at him and frowned. "My lusus was a crab. Didn't I already tell you this? So, yes I like crabs. He also kind of died twice in the past four weeks. Can I fucking grieve the death of my guardian in peace?"

He had no idea what possessed him to hug the boy, but moments after those words escaped Karkat's mouth, he was holding him close. He could feel the stiffening muscles and heard what could only be a warning sound come out of a sharp toothed mouth.

"Listen to me before you get all bitey, ok? I understand what it is like to lose your world, and what it's like to have to destroy your friends and family. I destroyed my own world and my people to save this universe. I am the only one of my kind left too. I understand the anger and pain and guilt. And I can tell you it will never fully go away either. It will get easier to live with, easier to feel good things. It takes a while though. You are still in a shocked state judging by your trembling right now, but that will leave soon enough and when it does, know I'm here, even if you don't like me."

There was silence once he stopped talking for a good long while, but Karkat stopped shaking after five minutes of quiet and slowly relaxed against him, enough to head butt his lower chest with one of those small horns. He was thankful they weren't sharp or he'd have major trouble breathing.

He didn't complain about it though, as he knew it was accidental. Karkat was just trying to do what any other child would do, hide his head and try to gain some comfort at the same time. The Doctor loosened his hold on the boy and slowly let him go, before nudging him slightly in the direction of the door.

"Tomorrow, I'll land the TARDIS somewhere and we can go see what there is to see. It won't do you any good to stay in here and let yourself be alone most of the day. I'll let the TARDIS choose the time and place. She likes you a lot and will take you somewhere she thinks will be good for you. Come on, let's go find your room and you can relax a bit more. River told me some of your friends lived, human friends. Go talk to them for a bit, they'll help you through this more than I can."

"Fine," Karkat muttered, before taking the not so subtle hints and began walking back through the halls of the TARDIS.

Within five minutes they had found the door to Karkat's room and, leaving the boy well enough alone, the Doctor made his way back to the console room where he knew River was waiting for him.

"Did he find some clothes?" she asked, before he even reached her. He nodded, grabbed hold of her and pulled her in for a quick kiss.

"Yes he did, and he knows he can come talk to me about...things if he needs to. I left him to talk to his human friends. Hopefully he does take that bit of advice at least. He really isn't in a very stable mindset right now. He said his guardian had died twice in the past four weeks. Do these lusus things regenerate?"

"No, they only get to die once. I have no idea how one would die twice."

Grinning, he pulled his wife into a hug, before swinging her around. "Well, it is date night and I don't think it would be wise to leave the TARDIS, so let's dance in here, shall we? Did you tell him you don't actually live on the TARDIS with me? I think he needs to know that. He might decide to choose someone else to be all cuddly with. I think it would be better for him to be with kids his own age."

"Oh believe me, I never thought this moirallegiance was anything other than temporary. A child troll would never trust an adult for longer than necessary, especially with their quadrants. He'll probably come to me himself, but I will talk to him about it later. Now, where were we? Dancing wasn't it? Are you going to come and sweep me off my feet, sweetie?"

Laughing, he spun River around and dipped her. "And here I was under the impression I had already done that."

"Oh, you smooth talker. Show me your moves, Doctor.'

He did just that for a majority of the rest of that 24 hour period of time.


	6. Chapter 6

Most of this chapter is done in persterlogs. One between John and Karkat which goes into reproduction for both species...yeah. The other between Karkat and Rose. The last one takes up the majority of this chapter. For those of you worrying, River will still be a big and important part of his life. As will a few of the Doctor's other friends and companions. I started this story as a way to get the Doctor to also reconnect in this incarnation with Ten's companions. So expect Martha, Mickey, Sarah Jane, Jack and maybe Donna and Wilf in here. Clara will not be a part of this story, as it was started before she was introduced fully. This is between adventures with Amy and Rory, so expect those two to come up at some stage too.

There are references in this chapter to pairings. Lots and lots of pairings. In all the quadrants. All of them.

I'll shut up now and let you read the chats.

* * *

Chapter Six

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -

CG: HEY JOHN.  
EB: hey karkat!  
EB: rose has us all doing work, can you believe it.  
EB: why?  
EB: whyyyyyyyy?!  
CG: OH GOD.  
CG: CAN YOU PLEASE NOT DO THE 8 THING RIGHT NOW.  
CG: I THINK ANYTHING MORE THAN JUST CHATTING LIKE NORMAL WILL KILL ME.  
EB: :O  
EB: oh no!  
EB: did something else happen on top of everything else?  
EB: not to say everything else isn't bad enough  
EB: you're acting a lot different than you were last time we talked.  
EB: you were upset then but  
EB: not like 'going to die' kind of upset.  
EB: please don't die.  
CG: JOHN  
CG: I WASN'T BEING LITERAL, YOU IDIOT.  
CG: I THINK IT IS JUST SINKING INTO MY THINK PAN, YOU KNOW?  
CG: I JUST HAD SOMEONE GIVING ME A 'LAST OF HIS KIND' TALK AND  
CG: I GUESS SOMETHING IN ME JUST DIDN'T REALLY BELIEVE IT UNTIL THEN.  
CG: I'M JUST  
CG: I'M REALLY SHAKEN UP ABOUT IT I GUESS.  
CG: SO JUST TELL ME NORMAL STUFF RIGHT NOW FOR MY SANITY.  
CG: WHAT WORK HAS ROSE GOT YOU ALL DOING  
CG: AND YOU'RE THE LEADER OF YOUR TEAM SO WHAT THE FUCK?  
EB: it's not really hard or anything.  
EB: she wants us to write down all what we did during our session so that we have a record of it.  
EB: see if it comes in handy for when we get to the new session.  
EB: dave hasn't been in here again yet.  
EB: you just missed the girls though.  
EB: i think they're off finding rooms to claim as their own.  
EB: i decided i might as well get started on it, set a good example being leader and all that :P  
CG: OH GOD  
CG: IS SHE GOING TO ASK ME FOR DETAILS ABOUT MY SESSION  
CG: BECAUSE I THINK IF SHE DOES I WILL START SCREAMING IN RAGE FILLED INSANITY BEFITTING THE MENTAL BREAKDOWN OF EPIC PROPORTIONS I'D BE GOING THROUGH AT THE TIME.  
CG: AND THAT *WAS* LITERAL.  
CG: I REALLY DON'T THINK I CAN DEAL WITH THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW.  
CG: FUCK. NOW I'M SHAKING AGAIN...  
EB: aww, buddy  
EB: i have no idea how to help or anything.  
EB: sorry  
CG: YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING MOIRAIL.  
CG:I DON'T WANT YOU AS MY MOIRAIL.  
CG:THINGS WOULD JUST BE  
CG: FAR TOO AWKWARD.  
CG: PLUS THERE'S THAT WHOLE HOMOSEXUAL THING YOU HAVE NOT GOING ON.  
CG: I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THAT'S EVEN A THING TO BEGIN WITH.  
EB: it just means i'm not interested in boys.  
CG: I FIGURED THAT OUT.  
CG: I JUST...  
CG: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?  
CG: IN A REPRODUCTIVE SENSE I MEAN.  
CG: KANAYA WOULD DATE A GUY BUT WAS MUCH MORE INTERESTED IN FEMALES  
CG: IT WOULDN'T STOP HER HOOKING UP WITH A MALE THOUGH.  
CG: I JUST DON'T GET IT.  
CG: CHOOSING ONE SEX OVER THE OTHER IS STUPID.  
EB: oooh i think i get the problem now  
EB: your boys can have grubs too?  
EB: are you forgetting we're mammals?  
EB: only the females can have the grubs  
EB: babies! I meant babies.  
EB: the females are the only ones who are literally able to get pregnant and carry the baby  
EB: boys just don't have the equipment for it.  
CG: HOLY FUCK.  
CG: NO I DIDN'T FORGET YOU WERE MAMMALS. BOY MAMMALS ON OUR PLANET CARRY YOUNG TOO. HENCE THE CONFUSION.  
CG: YOUR WHOLE SPECIES AND ONLY HALF OF THEM CAN HELP WITH POPULATING THE SPECIES? WHAT DO YOU DO DURING MATING SEASON?  
EB: we don't have a mating season karkat.  
EB: our females can literally become pregnant almost at any time all year round.  
EB: well, once they begin making the eggs anyway.  
EB: girls can be really icky with that.  
EB: they bleed out of their vaginas once a month to shed unfertilised eggs.  
CG: ...  
CG: YOUR SPECIES IS DISGUSTING, YOU KNOW THAT EGBERT.  
CG: OUR WAY IS...MESSY BUT MUCH LESS PAINFUL AND DOESN'T INVOVLE BLEEDING OUT OF REPRODUCTIVE ORIFICES.  
CG: THANK GOD FOR THAT.  
EB: well how does it work in your culture?  
CG: WE HAVE THE MOTHERGRUBS.  
EB: yeah.  
EB: not helpful.  
CG: UGH.  
CG: WHEN BREEDING TIME COMES, WE NEED TO MATE WITH OUR CONCUPISCENT PAIRINGS.  
CG: OUR BLACK AND RED QUADRANTS.  
CG: THE GENETIC MATERIAL RPODUCED BY THE PAIRINGS IS MIXED AND GIVEN TO THE IMPERIAL DRONES AND SEPARATED INTO EITHER THE RED OR BLACK PAIL THEY CARRY WITH THEM  
CG: THIS IS EMBARRASSING...  
EB: wait...the pail thing is sexual?  
EB: oh  
EB: i now understand everything XD  
CG: OH MY GOD SHUT UP!  
CG: FUCK DO I HAVE TO GO ON?  
EB: i mentioned bleeding vaginas.  
EB: yes you have to go on.  
CG: FUCK, FINE.  
CG: THE PAIL USED IS OBVIOUSLY GOING TO COINCIDE WITH WHAT PARTNER YOU'RE WITH AT THAT TIME.  
CG: WHEN BOTH ARE FILLED OUR JOB IS DONE.  
EB: wait, that's it?  
EB: you fill the pails and then what?  
CG: UGH  
CG: ...  
CG: THIS ISN'T EXACTLY SOMETHING WE LIKE TO TALK ABOUT.  
EB: bleeding out of reproductive orifices is something we don't like to talk about.  
EB: trust me, boys get into some serious trouble if we even mention it in a female's company.  
CG: FINE!  
CG: THE PAILS ARE GIVEN TO THE MOTHERGRUB, WHO IS OBVIOUSLY GETTING READY TO LAY HER EGGS, HENCE THE DRONES BEING OUT WITH THEIR FUCKING PAILS IN THE FIRST PLACE.  
CG: SHE EATS IT, AND DIGESTS IT INTO A SLURRY OF GENETIC MATERIAL WHICH IS THEN USED TO FERTILIZE THE EGGS, WHICH ARE THEN LAID IN THE CAVERNS.  
CG: THEY HATCH A FEW WEEKS LATER AND OUR GRUB SELVES CRAWL OUT.  
CG: IT'S THE GLORIOUS CIRCLE OF FUCKING TROLL LIFE.  
CG: YOU HAPPY NOW?  
EB: ...  
EB: eww, she actually eats your...eww!  
EB: and you think our reproductive cycle is gross?  
EB: you have a giant bug that eats your... ugh!  
CG: AT LEAST NONE OF US HAVE TO WITNESS THAT THOUGH.  
CG: IF WE'RE STILL ALIVE AFTER THE DRONES HAVE BEEN, WE JUST MERRILY GO ON KNOWING WE PLAYED OUR PART IN THE NEXT GENERATION OF YOUNG.  
EB: uh, still alive?  
CG: YEAH. YOU DON'T EXPECT BAD GENETICS TO BE BRED INTO THE NEXT GENERATION. THE DISABLED, THE MUTANTS, THE UTTERLY INSANE...THEY JUST GET CULLED INSTEAD. YES, I BELONG IN SAID GROUP OF INSTANTLY CULLED PEOPLE.  
CG: HALF OF OUR GROUP DID. MOST OF US WOULD HAVE BEEN CULLED. IT SUCKS, BUT HEY, THAT'S LIFE FOR YOU.  
EB: so...i guess the bucket thing is both sexual and frightening then?  
EB: I mean you just kind of implied that you had to mate at that time, no exceptions or be killed.  
EB: it's like the planet of the rapists or something. are you alright? you are taking this way too calmly for my liking.  
CG: YOU'RE FORGETTING THAT IT WAS THE NORM ON OUR PLANET. SURE NONE OF US LIKED THE THOUGHT, AND IT WAS PRETTY MUCH TERRIFYING GROWING UP KNOWING YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT TO ADULTHOOD, BUT...  
CG: IT WAS EXPECTED AND ACCEPTED IN OUR CULTURE.  
EB: that is one of the saddest things ever about trolls.  
EB: no wonder you all panicked when you spotted a bucket just aimlessly lying around.  
EB: why didn't vriska say something?  
EB: she just said it was a cultural thing.  
CG: PROBABLY FOR THE SAME REASON I'M UNCOMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT IT.  
CG: BACK THEN THERE WAS STILL THE HOPE THAT WE COULD KICKSTART OUR SPECIES. WITHOUT THE DRONES OF COURSE. MAKING IT A LOT LESS FRIGHTENING FOR US, BUT STILL FAR TOO EMBARRASSING TO TALK : KANAYA HAD A MATRIORB FROM HER LUSUS. IT WOULD HAVE HATCHED INTO A MOTHERGRUB.  
CG: NO LUCK OF THAT NOW. I'M ALL THAT'S LEFT.  
CG: AND IF I WASN'T SO EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED RIGHT NOW, I'D PROBABLY BE CRYING AGAIN.  
CG: I THINK I'M GOING TO LEAVE THIS CONVERSATION HERE, GRAB A BLANKET AND FIND MY WAY TO MY PILE.  
CG: I JUST CAN'T DO THIS RIGHT NOW.  
CG: SORRY.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] stopped trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -

Staring at the screen, he saw a message from John pop up on the bottom of the screen but ignored it. His eyes were stinging with the need to shed tears, but his stupid body refused to allow him to cry. He needed a drink of water. He needed to fucking cry. He needed to go someplace safe and grieve.

His newfound pile was still nicely hidden in its small hole in that dead garden. It was missing clean things to go in it and a moirail to curl up with, but hey, it was still a safe place to go hide and deal with his stupid feelings.

He didn't bother using the blanket that the Doctor had put around him when he got on board. He had claimed that one for use on the bed for when he was reading or got into one of his recent shaking for no reason phases. It was already nicely covered in his scent and was comfortable.

Alright, so maybe he just needed some comfort object in his room too, and right now that was the closest thing to one he had. Maybe he could ask one of the kids when they were looking through the meteor if they could pick up one of Terezi's scalemates for him...

He'd take Pyralspite, her favourite. Dave could take another one if he wanted. A red one maybe...Cherryberry was it? He couldn't remember. He had never bothered learning their names properly, because he hadn't been into her shitty legal role-play games.

Dave liked red too, didn't he? He typed in it at any rate.

No wonder Terezi had liked Dave so much, she had an obsession with the colour. And coolkids too.

A whine escaped him, but still his body refused to cry. He couldn't even do the decency of crying over the death of his first matesprit, who he had been completely devoted to, even if they did vacillate like crazy fools.

Ok, so he vacillated like a crazy fool, because he was easily pissed off. She just got annoyed with him always going black for her at inappropriate times and then flipping back to red.

It was stupid. He was stupid. He had felt so damn much for her he couldn't keep from wanting her in any or all the quadrants. His future self would have a field day with that one, he was sure. If he ever got the courage up to ever get into a conversation with himself ever again.

That would probably break him.

Damn, he needed to talk to Jade. She was the closest thing he had ever gotten to a proper Auspistice between his past and future selves. That he actually hated himself enough to need one was beyond insane. Not even Sollux hated himself that much, regardless of what that yellow blooded freak said.

His best fucking friend...

God, why did he have to go through this pain?

A ping from his laptop announced another message had arrived and sighing he looked at his comp. The words tentacleTherapist flashed on the bottom of the screen with the new message. Slowly, he clicked on it and brought it up to read, still ignoring John's letter.

Maybe he could ask Rose to tell him to piss off and leave him alone for a while. He needed a break from derpy idiots right now, and at least Rose wasn't that...

- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] –

TT: Karkat, John has suddenly become inexplicably more worried than normal over your wellbeing. Are you still there?  
CG: YEAH. I WAS ABOUT TO TRY AND FIND SOMETHING AND LEAVE THOUGH. WHY.  
TT: I suppose you conveniently didn't bother answering the rest of my sentence for a good reason.  
CG: YEAH. YOU ONLY ASKED ONE QUESTION, IDIOT.  
TT: That isn't what I meant and you know it. But, it is true I did only ask one question so I will let it slide.  
TT: Would you mind telling me where you are going so I can put his mind at ease, before he paces a hole in the floor of the ship and we all fall out of it during the night.  
TT: If there was a difference between day and night here. It is dark continuously.  
TT: Thankfully all the lights are still in functioning order.  
CG: I'M MAKING MYSELF A PILE SOMEWHERE HIDDEN ON THE SHIP I AM ON. TROLLS FIND COMFORT IN PILES. AND I TOLD JOHN WHAT I WAS GOING TO DO.  
CG: THAT REMINDS ME...  
CG: I WANTED TO ASK IF ONE OF YOU WOULD GO BACK TO THE METEOR AND FIND SOME OF TEREZI'S SCALEMATES.  
CG: THEY ARE HER PLUSHIE DRAGONS.  
CG: I THINK IT MIGHT HELP PUT BOTH ME AND THE DOUCHEBAG IN BETTER FRAMES OF MIND TO HAVE SOMETHING OF HERS. AND SHE LOVED THOSE THINGS.  
TT: Which douchebag would this be? My insufferable prick of an ectosibling, or the prankster.  
CG: THE INSUFFERABLE PRICK.  
CG: THERE IS ONLY ONE WHITE ONE. I WANT IT.  
CG: DAVE CAN CHOOSE A WIDE RANGE OF DIFFERENT COLOURED ONES. THERE'S RED ONES TOO.  
CG: SHE HAD A PILE OF THE THINGS SOMEWHERE IN HER RESPITEBLOCK, I'M SURE OF : Do you want anything from your rooms? It is the only one right now we have access to. Dave is going to try and break into the others to try and salvage things to bring back.  
TT: Any other mementos you want from your other friends?  
CG: WOW, FUCK.  
CG: UMM...  
CG: IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE SOMETHING KANAYA MADE.  
CG: SHE HAD MADE ME A SWEATER, BUT HADN'T GIVEN IT TO ME YET. IF YOU COULD FIND IT, THAT'D BE GREAT. IT HAS MY SIGN ON IT.  
TT: That seems simple enough. I will personally try and find that.  
TT: I believe I will also take a few things of hers for myself. For the same reason.  
TT: You were close to Kanaya?  
CG: SHE WAS A CLOSE FRIEND. WE WEREN'T IN A QUADRANT TOGETHER OR ANYTHING, BUT I THINK SHE WOULD HAVE MADE A GREAT MOIRAIL IF I HADN'T BEEN PALE FOR GAMZEE.  
CG: WELL, MOIRAIL FOR ME AT ANY RATE.  
CG: HER MOIRALLEGIANCE WITH VRISKA WAS AN ONGOING JOKE.  
CG: BUT, YES WE WERE CLOSE.  
CG: WE GOT EVEN CLOSER ON BREEDING DUTIES.  
TT: yes, the frogs you and she made. Jade told me about that.  
TT: She seemed oddly excited that you would be helping her with that part of her own duties too. Along with Kanaya and Dave.  
CG: SHE'S MY AUSPISTICE.  
CG: OH GOD...DOES SHE EVEN KNOW THAT? HUMANS DON'T REALLY DO QUADRANTS AND SOMETIMES THINGS MAY HAVE GOTTEN A BIT CONFUSED AND RED, BUT...  
CG: WOW, I JUST REALISED I REALLY FLIP BETWEEN QUADRANTS IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MOIRAIL.  
CG: HUH  
CG: FUCK, WHAT AM I SAYING?!  
CG: FORGET THAT SENTENCE.  
CG: NO, FORGET THAT WHOLE THING FROM AUSPISTICE.  
TT: You saying forget it has now inevitably peaked my interest beyond that of seeing just a comment on your romantic entanglements with my friends.  
TT: John told me you might have hit on him at one stage.  
CG: OH GOD...  
CG: I WILL NEVER LIVE THAT DOWN.  
CG: AT LEAST NOW I UNDERSTAND HOW THERE IS THE POSSIBILIY THIS HOMOSEXUALITY THING MIGHT ACTUALLY WORK NOW, WITH ONLY THE FEMALES ABLE TO PRODUCE YOUNG IN YOUR SPECIES.  
CG: HUMANS ARE WEIRD...  
CG: IS IT TRUE FEMALES REALLY BLEED OUT OF THEIR REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS ONCE A MONTH?  
TT: John has a lot of explaining to do later.  
TT: But yes, it is. Only those who are old enough to produce the eggs for fertilization though. I am still slightly too young for that.  
TT: It happens at different times for all girls. Some as young as 8, some as old as 17. 13 is normal.  
TT: Hmm, now that I think of it, I am unsure now I have reached God Tier, that I will even get mine to begin with.  
TT: That both relieves and terrifies me.  
CG: HOW COULD THAT TERRIFY YOU?  
CG: I'D THINK THE WHOLE NOT BLEEDING OUT OF MY NOOK WOULD BE A GOOD THING.  
TT: Oh, I do not particularly relish the idea of bleeding out of my nook as you call it, Karkat.  
TT: But if I don't, then I can never have children. I'm too young to think of having kids yet, obviously, but one day it may be nice.  
TT: I would try and make my children not be caught in a passive aggressive one-upmanship with me.  
TT: My life would then be complete.  
CG: DID MOST OF YOUR GROUP HAVE SHITTY UPBRINGINGS? I WAS LUCKY WITH MY LUSUS.  
CG: I MISS HIM.  
TT: It doesn't really work that way, Karkat.  
TT: While my battles with my mother fell in the neglect category, it wasn't all bad.  
TT: I cared about her and I am sure in some weird way, she probably cared about : I believe the alcohol was at fault for the most part.  
TT: Dave's guardian abused him which you would have seen on your screen. Teaching a baby to fight isn't exactly normal in modern human society. Teaching a young child how to sword fight even worse.  
TT: Yet Dave cherished his Bro. And he understands how fucked up that is.  
TT: Point is, it doesn't matter what kind of relationship you had, you would still miss your lusus.  
CG: BUT MY LUSUS WASN'T ABUSIVE OR NEGLECTFUL. HE GOT CRABBY AT THINGS, BUT IT WAS EXPECTED OF HIM.  
CG: HE DIDN'T BEAT ME, THOUGH WE DID OCCASIONALLY HAVE SOME VERSION OF STRIFE. MAINLY I WOULD TELL HIM TO SHUT UP AND WHACK HIM ON THE CARAPACE WITH THE BLUNT SIDE OF MY PRACTICE SICKLE AND THEN FEED HIM SOME ROE CUBES WHEN HE CALMED DOWN.  
CG: HE LIKED ROE CUBES.  
CG: I TAUGHT MYSELF HOW TO FIGHT. HE KEPT ME PROTECTED.  
TT: You hit your lusus?  
CG: I DIDN'T DO ANY DAMAGE. IT WAS THE ONLY THING I COULD DO TO TELL HIM WHEN HE'D DONE SOMETHING WRONG OR BAD. ASK JADE. SHE HIT HER LUSUS TOO.  
TT: Jade hit Bec?  
TT: Hmm, was it with a rolled up newspaper by any chance?  
TT: If so, I think I understand what you mean by it.  
TT: And I therefore apologise by hinting that what you were doing with yours was wrong.  
TT: I forgot that your lusus was an animal guardian like Bec was to Jade.  
CG: THAT'S OK. I FIND IT WEIRD YOU HUMANS ARE RAISED BY ADULTS OF YOUR OWN KIND.  
CG: AN ADULT TROLL WOULD MORE THAN LIKELY CULL A WIGGLER LEFT IN THEIR CARE.  
CG: I'M HAVING TROUBLE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF THAT.  
CG; I WAS RESCUED BY AN ADULT. HE KIND OF REALLY CREEPS ME OUT SOMETIMES.  
CG: HIS MATESPRIT IS ACTING MOIRAIL FOR ME, BUT I CAN'T FULLY TRUST HER BECAUSE SHE IS AN ADULT. IT JUST WON'T WORK.  
TT: Yes, I would see how that would be a problem.  
TT: And I am suddenly taking this whole conversation as some kind of pale flirting.  
TT: I'm flattered.  
TT: Just so that you know, while I may have been what you would call red for Kanaya, it doesn't stop me from liking boys too.  
CG: WAIT.  
CG: WHAT.  
CG: HOLY FUCK! I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE I WAS DOING THAT.  
CG: AND I HAVE NO IDEA IF YOU'RE BEING SINCERE OR NOT.  
CG: BUT AT LEAST YOU SEEM TO HAVE SENSE NOT CHOOSING ONE GENDER OVER THE OTHER.  
TT: Kanaya was the first girl I had a crush on. I had already begun crushing on boys. It came as a bit of a surprise, but not a bad one.  
TT: Bisexuality is natural in humans too, Karkat. It's not the norm as it is in trolls, but it is still a thing that exists.  
CG: KANAYA PREFERRED FEMALES, BUT DID HAVE MALE CRUSHES.  
CG: KANAYA HAD THE BIGGEST FLUSH CRUSH ON VRISKA AT ONE STAGE. SHE GOT OVER IT.  
CG: I THINK SHE WAS ALL READY TO JUMP IN ASHEN FOR ERIDAN AND VRISKA EVEN THOUGH SHE SAID SHE WASN'T INTERESTED.  
CG: LIES I TELL YOU.  
CG: LIES.  
CG: I ALSO THINK SHE MAY HAVE HAD A BLACK CRUSH ON GAMZEE.  
TT: That Eridan, he was very...forward. I didn't like him at all. At one stage he stated we were perfect rivals and started hitting on me and saying we were destined kismesis.  
TT: I believe that is what he was saying. I erased my conversation with him because of the creep factor.  
TT: You are the romance expert and they were your friends. You would know better than I.  
TT: So, are you interested in me for a moirail?  
TT: Because I am not adverse to the idea. I would be willing to give this a try if nothing else.  
CG: WOW. OK THAT'S A BIT FAST.  
CG: HOW DESPERATE MUST I BE FOR A MOIRAIL THAT PEOPLE ARE FLINGING THEMSELVES AT ME?  
CG: FIRST JOHN, WHICH IS A HUGE NO AND NOW YOU.  
CG: I'M CHECKING THE SHIRT I LOITERED OUT OF THE WARDROBE ON THIS SHIP FOR ANY DIAMONDS ON IT.  
CG: NOPE, NO DIAMONDS.  
CG: ARE YOU HONESTLY INTERESTED, OR JUST WANT ME BECAUSE OF THIS WHOLE THERAPY THING?  
TT: John wants to be your moirail? When did this development take place?  
TT: He sure said nothing of it to me.  
CG: THAT WAS ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE YOU MESSAGED ME.  
CG: AND HE DIDN'T EXACTLY SAY IT OUT LOUD LIKE YOU DID, BECAUSE HE'S IRRITATING AND ANNOYING LIKE THAT.  
CG: I TOLD HIM NO ANYWAY.  
CG: HE LEFT ME ANOTHER MESSAGE AFTER I QUIT TALKING TO HIM, BUT I HAVEN'T READ IT YET.  
CG: AND ANSWER MY QUESTION.  
TT: What question?  
TT: Ah, that one. Yes I was being sincere.  
TT: You may not be considering this as a viable fact, but we have also suffered our losses, and while not as many as you have in the past few days, they are still fresh to us.  
TT: Would it be so hard to believe that maybe I would like someone to talk to and be offered comfort? To have someone tell me what an idiot I am being when I do stupid things in my grief? To have that someone also have been close to the girl I was crushing on?  
TT: Dave told me his plan to get into the other rooms, but that's about it. He's refusing to talk to anyone right now. Like you said, he took the death of his bro and then Terezi hard.  
TT: Jade and John are just too...bouncy for my tastes.  
TT: I think I would honestly prefer to try and see how this moirail thing works out than attempt to tell them of my problems. Especially John.  
TT: The last thing I want right now is people trying to comfort me while smiling when I know they should be crying.  
TT: It just seems fake to me. Although it is possible that they are still stuck in denial, or feel it not yet time to start grieving.  
TT: The death of my mother sent me into a Grimdark rage. I do not do grief well on my own.  
CG: FUCK, I FORGOT ABOUT YOUR BLACKOUT. SHIT, I FEEL LIKE THE BIGGEST LOSER RIGHT NOW.  
CG: THE MOST RANK STINK BUBBLE THAT COULD EVER BE POSSIBLY MADE FROM THE BOWELS OF THE HORRORTERRORS THEMSELVES AND SQUEEZED OUT OF THE MOST PUSTULE COATED ASS IN CREATION. THAT'S HOW FOUL I AM.  
CG: KANAYA WAS REALLY CONCERNED ABOUT YOU WHEN SHE LOST CONTACT. SHE KEPT WANDERING AROUND WITH A WORRIED FROWN ON HER FACE.  
CG: I LET HER GO HAVE A WALK TO TRY AND CALM HER DOWN. SHE FOUND THE KEY TO OPEN THE CARD WITH THE MATRIORB ON IT. THAT BRIGHTENED HER MOOD.  
CG: SHE TOLD JADE ALL ABOUT IT IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN HEARING THAT STORY.  
CG: YOU KNOW, THE PART BEFORE THE BEHEMOTH LEAVINGS HIT THE WHIRLING DEVICE AND WAS FLUNG EVERYWHERE AROUND THE METEOR.  
CG: A FEW MINUTES LATER, ERIDAN STARTED OFF THE KILLING SPREE THAT LEFT ME ON MY OWN.  
CG: AND THIS HAS VEERED RIGHT BACK INTO FEELINGS JAM TERRITORY HASN'T IT?  
CG: THAT'S IT LALONDE. WE SURELY HAVE OUR MOIRALLEGIANCE MAPPED OUT FOR US IN THE STARS THEMSELVES.  
CG: WE ARE DRAWN TOGETHER WITH OUR MUTUAL NEED TO TELL EACH OTHER ABOUT OUR SHITTY LIVES.  
CG: WHO AM I TO SAY NO TO OUR DESTINED PALE ROMANCE?  
TT: It's impossible to resist your smooth, sweet talking ways. You have suckered me in with your rank foulness. How could I resist such flowery putrid prose?  
TT: In all honesty, I believe it impossible to do anything other than what we were meant to. If you do, it ends up in a doomed timeline. Or, at least, it did when we were in the game.  
TT: The playing field has now been altered.  
CG: GOD, THIS JUST REMINDS ME OF THAT DOOMED TIMELINE ARADIA SAID HAPPENED ONCE. GAMZEE WENT NUTS AND KILLED EVERYONE IN IT.  
CG: IT IS NOT A DOOMED EVENT FOR US THAT HE KILLED EQUIUS AND NEPETA. THAT WAS MEANT TO HAPPEN.  
CG: WHEN HE STARTS TO KILL OTHERS THAT EQUALS DOOMED TERRITORY. LIKE I SAID TO JADE ONCE, HE'S MY RESPONSIBILITY AND IT WAS MY JOB TO LOOK OUT FOR HIM AND STOP HIM FROM DOING JUST WHAT HE DID.  
CG: IF YOU GO ALL GRIMDARK AGAIN YOUR FRIENDS HAVE THE RIGHT TO KILL ME FOR BEING THE WORST FUCKING MOIRAIL EVER.  
CG: I WON'T EVEN FIGHT, I PROMISE. I'LL JUST STAND THERE AND TAKE WHATEVER THEY WANT TO DEAL OUT AS A PUNISHMENT.  
TT: Alright, Karkat, stop typing for a minute and breathe some nice deep breaths.  
TT: Are you doing so?  
TT: Karkat?  
CG: YES I AM BREATHING.  
CG: I'D KIND OF BE DEAD IF I WASN'T.  
CG: I'M NOT HAVING A PANIC ATTACK OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT ANYWAY SO WHY STOP ME ON A PERFECTLY GOOD RANT?  
TT: You were ranting about the others with me killing you for revenge on you killing me by the sounds of it. Correct me if I am wrong.  
CG: IF YOU WENT BATSHIT INSANE, LALONDE. ARE YOU BATSHIT INSANE?  
TT: Not that I am aware of. I suppose I will know when you come to kill me if that ever happens.  
TT: Thank you for the fair warning in advance. By then I will be too far gone to do so.  
CG: FUCKING BITCH.  
CG: UGH. I JUST FINISHED KILLING MY LAST MOIRAIL BECAUSE HE WENT PSYCHOTIC ON ALL OUR ASSES. I REALLY DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO REPEAT THE PROCESS.  
CG: ONCE WAS WELL ENOUGH FOR ME.  
TT: To put your mind at ease, I am not anywhere near feeling anything at all like I did when I went Grimdark before. It is not sudden and happens in stages.  
TT: Trust me, if I do start going Grimdark, I can warn you and you can snap me out of it.  
CG: YOU'LL BE ABLE TO WARN ME AND GIVE ME TIME TO GET YOU OUT OF IT?  
CG: THANK FUCKING GOD FOR THAT.  
CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SCARY IT WAS TO HAVE ONE OF MY MOST LOYAL, FRIENDLY AND CARING FRIENDS SUDDENLY GO BATSHIT INSANE ON ME.  
CG: THE STUPID THING IS I SHOULD HAVE TOTALLY SEEN IT COMING. I WAS WARNED GAMZEE WAS DANGEROUS. FUCK, HE WAS THE BARD OF RAGE, IF THAT WASN'T A BIG ENOUGH HINT.  
CG: WE ALL LAUGHED AT THAT. THOUGHT IT A FUNNY JOKE.  
CG: HA. HA. HA. LOOK AT ME, LAUGHING IT UP HERE.  
TT: Karkat, stop typing. Just...stop.  
TT: Nothing ever comes of thinking on what could have been. If you were warned, then you are forgetting that Gamzee was also an active part of this. Did anyone warn him like you just did me?  
TT: What happened to get him to go batshit insane? Something would have triggered it.  
CG: AM I BEING GIVEN PERMISSION TO SPEAK AGAIN, OH HOLY SEER OF LIGHT.  
TT: Permission is granted, oh great Knight of Blood.  
CG: JOY OF FUCKING JOYS.  
CG: AS FAR AS I CAN TELL IT WAS A MIX BETWEEN WITHDRAWAL AND DAVE'S SHITTY MUSIC VIDEO.  
CG: SOME BAND CALLED ICP? HE DID NOT APPRECIATE THAT. IT SENT HIM INTO A RAGE. HE WENT OFF SOMEWHERE ALONE WITHOUT TELLING ME HE WAS GOING ANYWHERE AND ENDED UP GOING INSANE.  
TT: So, basically he was withdrawing from some form of drug he was addicted to and was driven insane by...Insane Clown Posse.  
TT: We are talking about the juggalo troll, aren't we? The clown who believed in miracles?  
CG: YEAH, HE WAS BIG INTO CLOWNS AND MIRACLES AND SHIT LIKE THAT.  
TT: You should not tell Dave this. He'd laugh his ass off at the irony of it all. And this is true irony, not the fake stuff he clings to like a shield.  
TT: I can understand how that wouldn't help anyone. In fact, it would more than likely end with you and Dave at each other's throats, and you have the sharper teeth.  
TT: Hmm, Dave does however have speed on his side...  
TT: It could quite possibly be an interesting fight to watch, but I digress. No fighting with Dave for a reaction he would have.  
CG: YOU DONE NOW?  
CG: I WON'T FIGHT DAVE. DOES MY SAYING THAT EVEN REMOTELY CONVINCE YOU OF THAT?  
CG: I CAN HOWEVER SAY WITH ALL CERTAINTY THAT IF HE DECIDES TO FIGHT ME, I WILL BITE OUT HIS STUPID THROAT AND WATCH HIM BLEED TO DEATH ON THE FLOOR.  
CG: HE'D RECOVER QUICKLY ENOUGH.  
TT: You would have to catch him first.  
CG: AH, BUT I SPARRED WITH SOMEONE BETTER THAN HIM. GAMZEE MAY HAVE BEEN A TOTAL PUSHOVER TO MOST PEOPLE WHILE DRUGGED OUT OF HIS MIND, BUT HE HAD QUITE A FEW SURPRISES UP HIS SLEEVES.  
CG: ONE WAS SPEED. THE OTHER WAS UNPREDICTABILITY.  
CG: DAVE IS VERY STRAIGHT FORWARD WITH HIS APPROACH. I WATCHED HIM SPARRING WITH HIS BROTHER. HE IS PREDICTABLE. PREDICTABLE WITH SPEED JUST ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH.  
CG: IT'S WHY HIS BROTHER ALWAYS WON.  
CG: SPEED MEANS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IF YOU CAN PREDICT WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO DO NEXT.  
CG: SEE, BRO WAS A GOOD FIGHTER. FAST AND UNPREDICTABLE.  
CG: WHAT WAS HIS NAME ANYWAY?  
TT: That is a good question and one no one actually knows the answer to. Not even Dave.  
TT: I have however predicted that it begins with a D.  
TT: My mother's name was Roxy.  
TT: John's grandmother was Jane.  
TT: Jade's grandpa was Jake.  
TT: The grandparents were rich high rollers. Well known people in other words.  
TT: My mother was a well placed scientist. Again, in the right fields, well known.  
TT: Bro is simply Bro to all.  
CG: OH OK.  
CG: SHIT, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GO NOW.  
CG: I'M BEGINNING TO FALL ASLEEP AT THE DESK. IT'S NOT TOO COMFORTABLE A PLACE TO SLEEP.  
CG: I WISH I HAD A RECUPERACOON TO CURL UP IN, BUT THE BED WILL DO FINE. AT LEAST ITS ONE THAT IS LIQUID FILLED.  
CG: THE WAVY NATURE OF THE BED HELPS RELZX ME.  
CG: WOW HOLY FUCK. RELAX*  
CG: YEAH, I NEED TO GO, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.  
CG: I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER ABOUT PLANS AND INFO DUMPING ON QUADRANTS TOMORROW.  
CG: PREPARE TO BE AMAZED AT THE COMPLEXITIES THAT IS TROLL ROMANCE.  
CG: HMM, MAYBE WE SHOULD DO IT AS A MEMO AND TRY TO GET JADE IN TOO...  
CG: ANYWAY, LATER.  
TT: Sleep well. I would say goodnight, but I have lost all concept of time recently. Who can even tell any longer whether it is night or day?  
CG: HAH GOOD POINT.  
CG: AND IT WOULD BE GOOD DAY FOR TROLLS.  
CG: EITHER WAY. SLEEP WELL YOURSELF WHEN YOU GO TO BED.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] stopped pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] -


	7. Chapter 7

I am so sorry this took so long. Between illness and writer's block, this chapter took so long to write. But here it is, finally finished and please don't hate me for it.

Karkat is kind of being an emotional wreck right now. He's so lost and confused. *hugs him*

* * *

Chapter Seven

Karkat had been asleep for a solid 6 hours before he woke up shaking and disoriented.

He couldn't remember being in a dream bubble, which meant he was probably stuck in a stupid nightmare that, now he was awake, he couldn't even remember. Which meant he slept like he normally did, except for longer.

It took him a minute to figure out where he was and why. Then he remembered the TARDIS was keeping him from dreaming, which meant he had startled himself awake for some reason other than nightmares.

_God, please have it not be the Doctor snooping around again_, he thought wildly to himself.

Looking around, he found himself exactly as he had been when he went to sleep, shirtless, only the sheet covering him, and with his new boxers on. There was absolutely nothing to indicate someone had been in his block while he slept. The door was still locked even. He must have either been nudged awake by the TARDIS or naturally woke up with a start.

Slowly relaxing, he rubbed sleep out of his eyes, got up and grabbed the clothes he had found yesterday. He'd need to find more. There was no use only having one set of clothing to wear. He made his way to the ablution block and got himself ready for the night. Or was it day?

Fuck, he'd lost all sense of time during his little stay on that meteor and being stuck on a ship in space didn't help. He had no way of knowing what the time was. It could be anything. His brain was telling him it was early evening though, so he'd go with that.

After he was cleaned and dressed, he stepped out of his room and went in search of the kitchen. He was getting hungry and decided a few slices of toast would be good enough for breakfast. He doubted there was grubloaf available, as this was the wrong universe for it, but he would eat bread too.

Great! Figures. Now he was craving foods he knew wouldn't exist in this universe. Damn it, that had been one of his favourite foods too. Now he would have to get used to so much new stuff. Find himself some different favourites. And he'd be doing it alone, no lusus, no other trolls.

He was fucked...

Stopping in front of a door the TARDIS had nudged him towards, he peeked into the room and saw it was a kitchen. For such a huge ship, it was small, cosy even. The Doctor was leaning against a counter, sipping at a mug. River was at the table, eating a slice of toast. He was about to turn around and come back when the area was clear of other people, but was spotted almost instantly.

"Karkat! Did you get some sleep?"

He grimaced but nodded in answer. Knowing he was definitely caught out on his being there, he moved fully into the room and headed towards the thermal hull to see what he could scrounge up for a decent meal. After spotting the bread on the counter, he turned his attention to things to put on it. There was no way he was eating dry toast. He only did that if he was sick.

He found an orange condiment he decided to try called marmalade. It had breakfast written on the label so hey, it seemed right anyway. He wasn't the greatest fan of orange flavoured stuff, but fuck it.

It was then he ran into a problem. It wasn't a big problem, hell it shouldn't have really been seen as a problem at all, but his think pan was a little fried right then because of all the shit that had been happening in his life the past few weeks that it was a little bit too much.

The bread heating device was different. Instead of organic like he was used to with most of his appliances, it was purely electrical. He knew he needed to put the bread into the slits at the top and it would toast but...how would it toast? What if it toasted wrong? His back on his hive would automatically make toast the way he liked it, he had his well trained like any troll worth his food would.

He hadn't even thought of things like this the day before. He hadn't needed to, as his needs had been met for him. He was used to seeing and knew how to operate the human version of a computer because he had watched them in action and was comfortable with them. That had been no problem, but he hadn't really been interested in every single tiny thing in a human household.

He should know how this worked, but he couldn't...he couldn't think.

A loud ringing in his ears he'd only ever heard once invaded his head and he said something out loud, and he hoped he was stating he was about to drop, because he couldn't hear or understand his own words right then.

The last time he had felt like this everything had been drenched in brown and a pair of useless limbs was being held away from their original body. The ringing then had been so proficient in blocking out all other sounds he couldn't hear when Kanaya had stopped the revving of her chainsaw and no longer heard the screeches of the once sleeping Tavros.

Quickly putting the jar on the counter, he found he couldn't catch his breath, he was suddenly covered in a cold sweat and he needed to sit before he fainted. He turned around too fast and was out.

He came to with someone papping his cheek and a cool cloth on his forehead. Also his legs seemed to be floating...no, not floating, he was now getting feeling back in them, they were elevated on someone's knees. He groaned in embarrassment. "I fainted didn't I?"

"Yes, but don't worry, I didn't let you hit the ground. Wait a minute before you sit back up. Give your body time to come back around or you'll make yourself dizzy or sick," the Doctor replied from the direction of his feet. Ah, River must be the one with the cloth and hands on his cheeks then, good.

"Yeah yeah, fine. Not moving. Got it." He didn't really feel dizzy right then, but he did have a headache banging around in his skull.

After a minute had passed and his head sorted itself out a bit more, thankfully the headache vanished and he slowly raised himself to his elbows. When he didn't get dizzy or throw up, he allowed himself a hum of relief and sat himself up, pulling his legs off the Doctor as he did so.

"What set that off?" he was asked, as River began rubbing comforting circles on his back.

"The bread hea...no, fuck it, you guys use Highblood vernacular and right now the less words I say the better. The toaster is different. Might be only a small fucking difference, but when everything is going to be different it just..."

"Overwhelmed you. Do you want to stay here today? We can always go somewhere later tomorrow."

"Oh my god! Shut the fuck up, I fainted, I'm not injured or sick. I'm fine. I just want something to eat and to get off the ship for a few hours." Right then all he wanted was to know a real time. Get his rhythm back in some kind of order, because he had been doing way too much sleeping lately and not enough of anything else.

"Anywhere in particular you want to go?"

He frowned. "The only planet in this entire miserable universe I fucked up with is Earth. The four kids I know from that planet wouldn't be in this alternate timeline to theirs, as they only would be in two different timelines of the universe. Fuck if I know anything or anyone else though."

"Ooh, Earth is my favourite," the Doctor stated, and River laughed loudly before stopping her rubbing.

"You can always watch me make the toast, and experiment with the toaster for your own preferences later. It will save time if nothing else."

Deciding to take River up on her help, Karkat nodded, before he frowned. "I wanted to try that orange condiment, the breakfast one. I've never had it before. Never even heard of it. Fuck, I'm hungry..." He was definitely headed for his moult if he could be hungry after fainting. Last time that had happened he had felt sick.

"Marmalade, not everyone likes it."

They were having a boring conversation that was civil about breakfast foods. Holy fuck, his life was beginning to unravel. Fuck, no, he was not going to start crying now. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly and managed to not burst into an embarrassing display of hysterical screaming to go with the fainting he did earlier.

Fuck his past self to the furthest reaches of paradox space. Fuck that guy so fucking hard...

He got up and made his way back over to the counter, this time paying attention. As much attention as he could anyway without thinking that everything was just so...metallic and dead in this universe. At least the ship had a consciousness and was able to communicate, that was at least on par with the helmsmen of the Alternian Fleet and at least familiar to him.

As he knew, the bread went into the slots at the top, a lever on the side was pushed down and that turned the heating on inside and lowered the bread. Okay, that was easy enough to understand, this was simple. He had freaked out over absolutely nothing.

"Not everyone likes their bread toasted the same way, so there is this dial on the side to twist around until you find one you prefer. But for now, please eat this." River got a plate and set it down beside the toaster. The toast was mainly still white, with a bit of a golden edge to it. He liked his to be all golden brown and toasted, but fuck he'd take it.

"Yeah, thanks, I'll find a setting I like later."

This was so fucking embarrassing...

He was shown the drawer with the eating utensils and grabbed a knife and the marmalade, spreading a thin layer onto his breakfast, just in case he didn't like it.

He found he didn't actually mind the taste. It wasn't too sweet or bitter as he had feared. The texture was more like jam than anything else. Orange jam for breakfast. Huh, humans were weird. Why had they called this marmalade?

A hand waved in front of his face, and he turned to see the Doctor looking worriedly at him from across the table. "Are you alright? Where were you just then?"

Confused, Karkat shrugged a shoulder and told the truth. "I was right here. Where else would I be. I just got lost in thought. Why the fuck do they call orange jam, marmalade? Why not just call it what it is? It makes no sense..."

River laughed, before sitting beside him with a mug of what smelled like chamomile tea. "As a rule, humans can be a weird species, Karkat. As one, I am very fond of our trait of not making sense."

Rolling his eyes, he scowled, before shoving the rest of the piece of toast in his hand into his mouth. He was therefore too busy chewing to answer the inevitable question on if he was ready to go or not, so he just nodded instead. Getting up, he followed the two adults as they made their way to the console room. He had finished with the toast by the time they got there.

"First off, there's something you need to know. I know you have this thing going on with River right now, but she doesn't actually live on board the ship. She has a job as an archaeologist out there in the universe and I am dropping her off first. If you want to say bye, you may want to do it now."

Karkat found, to his further embarrassment, that the rest had done his tear ducts some good if nothing else, because hearing that the only adult he felt wouldn't try anything suspicious was leaving him with the one that already had, got the sudden reaction of crying. He buried his face in his hands and tried to control himself to no effect.

Stupid fucking mood swings. He had gone most of his life putting up a front of anger to stop himself from crying and as soon as personal deaths started entering his life (not with his lusus though, Terezi had been watching at the time and she hadn't known his blood colour then) he turned into a ball of negative feelings and started crying all over the place.

Gamzee was the first to see him cry. Was the first to know his blood colour. Was the first to not fuck up everything with the evidence that he was a mutant. He was pretty sure Gamzee saw his freaky blood colour as a miracle. Was it any wonder he ended up with Gamzee as his moirail?

Without thinking, he quickly ran into the nearest hallway and hit the walls with both hands. He needed to stop fucking crying!

Thankfully neither of the two adults followed him and he got himself under some semblance of control before he managed to injure his hands. The ache in them helped dull the emotional pain somewhat and he sighed with the stupidity of his own actions. He would need to deal with this and he knew it, but right now he needed to have some time out, get off the ship and try to have some fun.

What he really wanted was to curl up in a pile somewhere with his moirail. And even that was confusing right now, as he hadn't exactly told River that he had found someone to replace her. And Rose was stuck on the other ship right now, as she couldn't get to this ship because Jade couldn't find it until it landed...

Gamzee was dead.

He had killed him with his regiscythe.

He...he didn't feel too good.

Taking a few deep breaths, he got himself to the point where he didn't think moving would make him vomit up his breakfast and stood up straighter. If he was going to do anything this day, it may as well be now. Turning back to the entrance of the console room, he slowly made his way back.

He had been close enough to hear the silence from the two adults. So he knew they hadn't been talking about him behind his back. He wasn't expecting them to be in different parts of the Console room though. River was visible as soon as he re-entered the room, her eyes closed as she listened to what he assumed to be invisible music.

He only spotted the Doctor when he looked down at the floor and found the see through material helpful. He was playing around with some wires while sitting on a swinging seat.

The Doctor looked up and spotted him, giving him a wide smile. "I'll be just a moment. The TARDIS is being unreasonable at the moment. One of her wires frayed. Almost done down here."

Sighing, Karkat turned to River. "Umm, I have something I need to tell you. And I would have already if I wasn't such a bulge chafing idiot with enough emotional problems to fit into every battleship the Imperial Fleet had to offer. I talked to my friend Rose yesterday and she asked me to be her Moirail. She has...problems when it comes to her own grief and she thinks it might be beneficial to her to try it out. I accepted, because I need a moirail right now like a mother grub needs the slurry once a sweep. She's easy to talk to though and has all this kind of psychological bullshit going on. But it does seem mutual right now and...Yeah."

River grinned at him after that, before nodding. "I didn't believe I was going to be a permanent moirail for you, Karkat. I'm an adult and you aren't. I know enough to know that wouldn't work. I am glad that someone asked you though."

Nodding, feeling better now that that bit of awkwardness was out the way. He frowned and went over to the edge of the platform the console was on and looked down. "Is it ready yet? I want to see sky again."

The Doctor wasn't looking at him, instead he was frowning at a wire he was holding, now unattached to the TARDIS. "Hmm? Oh! Yes. Just wondering where to put the leftovers. Hopefully that feels better for the old girl. Still, a bit of old wiring could be useful if fixed up a bit...throw or keep?"

Growling, Karkat threw his hands in the air, before crossing them over his chest. "I don't fucking care, do I? All I care about is getting off the ship and having some fresh air to breathe for the first time in, oh, four fucking weeks!?"

He basically squeaked out the last three words, but he didn't rightly care right then. This was his day to be humiliated, why not? He'd be glad when his voice decided to stay at the nice lower tone it was turning into. It made him feel less childish. Not like he wasn't acting like a wiggler right then. He was impatient and cranky and generally liked to hurry through everything.

Yet again, that was basically his default setting. His mood did seem to careen around the emotional spectrum though. Speed of light emotional tantrum, that was him. How thrilling. Hopefully he would feel better once he could join up with Rose and have a proper feelings jam. Jade did say she'd be able to find him once the TARDIS stopped after all.

God, he hoped she had been right. He really needed someone to talk to. Damn it, when he got back inside from this little trip, he was going to construct his damn pile. He was getting to the point where he was willing to start papping himself.

Karkat watched as the Doctor, done with his work, stowed the small piece of wire in one of his pockets, rubbed his hands against his shirt, before he bounced to his feet and ran up the stairs. "Alright, Karkat, River, let's go! First stop, River's office."

The loud sound of the engines making a sound like very high pitched wheezing startled Karkat enough to jump. He had forgotten or perhaps had been too busy feeling sorry for himself to notice that sound before. And the weird thing was the ship had been in flight the entire time yet had only just started making that sound. What the fuck was up with that?

Damn, he was jumping out of his skin over a stupid noise now, one that wasn't even hostile in nature. He grabbed hold of the railing that was in front of him and took some steadying deep breaths. A few seconds later, the sound stopped.

"See you same time next week, Sweetie?" River asked, staring at the Doctor with a look that told him he should not be in the same room with them right now. He closed his eyes and turned around. He hoped that they had the decency to not start mating in front of him. Did humans do that? He didn't know, the only ones he knew were his age and had the decency to keep any mating behaviour to themselves and in the privacy of their bathrooms and/or beds. Not that he had watched them at it or anything. Nope, that shit was weird. He did not want to know what human junk looked like.

Oh god, River and the Doctor were kissing, he could hear them at it. Thankfully it didn't last that long, and before he knew it, he could once again hear the engines and River was gone. He hadn't heard the Doctor reply to River's comment.

"Anywhere in particular you'd like to go? Any time of day, or particular type of world?"

Turning to face the Doctor, Karkat frowned and chewed on his bottom lip for a second. Shrugging he replied, "I don't know. It would be interesting to see what insect species here are, I guess. See what kind of competition my people would have had. I would like them to be nice though. I don't think I'd be able to handle much of a fight right now. Not that I can't fight! I can! I just...I need a break from it right now."

The Doctor grinned at him. "Well, most insectoid species I know tend to aggression, much like yours, but there is one I know which is nice. When I was there only one was left, but she was very polite and nice. It was also quite dark, but...it was the end of the universe at the time...I will just go there a bit earlier!"

Nodding, not really caring right then of anything other than seeing stars in the sky, he leaned against the railing and tried to relax. It wasn't easy. Since waking up, he had been jumpy for no reason, and now it was worse. Was it because he was now left alone with no one but the Doctor, who he was wary around, or was it because of other reasons? He didn't want to think about what those other reasons were right then, but he knew they were a definite factor into his behaviour.

When the sound of the engines stopped again, he was afraid to go to the door and poke his head out of it to see what was on the other side. He was so, so fed up with being scared. Growling loudly, he marched himself to the door and almost pulled it off its hinges to get it open.

Outside was a view of a hivelike city. And he was suddenly hit with a wave of homesickness so strong he was left leaning against the door. It looked nothing like the hives each individual troll built his or her self, and it wasn't a city with tall hive stems with individual and small hives attached to them, like what Sollux had lived in. No, it was mostly hives built into the walls of huge cliffs, nice and dark, with naturally made bridges spanning from one side to the next for easy access to the entire area.

They obviously lived in harmony with each other, and with no weaponry in view, no ships on patrol and no lusii barging out to protect their charges, it made him feel so utterly stupid for feeling anything even remotely like being homesick.

He slowly slid down the door, barely feeling the floor when he hit it. Then the Doctor was leaning over him all worried and he was being mothered again.

"Are you alright?"

Nodding, he felt himself swallowing heavily, because he seemed to have something stuck down his wind pipe. At least he wasn't crying again.

"Karkat? Please say something."

He turned to look at the Doctor, quickly looked away and before he could think of something smart to say, the words in his head came out. "I want to go home."

There was silence for what was probably a minute at the most, though it felt twice as long. The Doctor sighed beside him, before sitting down and placing a hand lightly on his knee. "Do you want to go down there, see it up close?"

Shaking his head, Karkat sighed and turned his gaze to the sky. "No. I thought I would, but I don't. Can I just stay here for a while? I need to breathe real air. The stars here are so different...everything is so different."

"That's fine. Do you want me to get you anything? A glass of water?"

Frowning for a second as he thought if he was thirsty enough to want water, he nodded slightly. "Okay. Water sounds good. And my blanket. I want my blanket."

Five minutes later he sat against the door with his blanket tightly wrapped around him, staring up at unfamiliar stars in an unfamiliar universe and felt lonelier than he ever had in his life.

The Doctor didn't leave his side.


End file.
